Ace: (catch phrase) Alrighty then!
Ace: (catch phrase) Take care now, bye bye then.
Ace: (catch phrase) Loo-hoo-se-her!
Ace: Like a glove!
Ace: (in empty dolphin tank, imitating Captain Kirk) Captain's log, stardate 23.9, rounded off to the... nearest decimal point. We've...traveled back in time to save an ancient species from total annihilation. So far, no signs of aquatic life, but I'm going to find it. If I have to tear this universe another black hole, I'm going to find it. I've got to, mister!
Ace: (in the same scene, imitating Scotty) I just can't do it, Captain! I don't have the power!
Ace: (in the same scene, imitating Dr. McCoy) For god's sake, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a pool man!
Ray's mother: It was all that Dan Marino's fault, everyone knows that. If he would have held the ball laces out like he was supposed to, Ray would never have missed that kick. Dan Marino should die of gonorrhoea and rot in hell. Would you like a cookie, son?
Ace Ventura: (takes a cookie) What do you know, pretty little footballs.
Ray's mother: Laces out!
Ace: If I'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer.
Ace: (frantically) Einhorn is Finkle! Finkle is Einhorn! Einhorn is a man! OH MY GOD! EINHORN IS A MAN!(proceeds to vomit, then take his clothes off and shower, and then he burns his clothes)
Ace: Hi, I'm looking for Ray Finkle... (Ray's father pulls a shotgun on Ace and cocks it) ...and a clean pair of shorts.
Ace: (Einhorn asking about his presence at the police station) I've came to confess. I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll.
Ace: (to Einhorn before leaving the police station) Hey, maybe I should give you a call sometime. Your number's still 911? Alrighty then!