I just wasted way too much time on this site:
Dear Grass on the Other Side,
What kind of fertilizer are you using?Sincerely, My Side.
Dear the letter 'S',
You've won this time...Sincerely, person with a lisp.
Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my sons virginity.Sincerely, parents everywhere.
Dear spare change,
OM NOM NOM.Sincerely, the couch.
I iz sry 4 evrythn i dun 2 u.Sincerely, Texting.
We do have souls. They're just on fire.Sincerely, Gingers.