Thread: Former Bear Dave Duerson found dead

Originally Posted by BearStuff

While I am saddened for the loss of DD, somehow knowing that it was self inflicted lessens my empathy. I realize that his play may have in some way helped cause his internal strife, but we will never know that.

As for his brain being donated, I think it is admirable. What really needs to happen is for players to get regular scans from HS thru retirement in order to study the effects of head traumas big and small.

I feel bad for his family and friends. But someone taking their own life does not deserve pity from me. They gave their life up, it wasn't taken unfairly from them.

The guys family and friends will now be beating themselves up emotionally and mentally for a very long time wondering if they could have done something to stop him. Wondering if they missed some signs. Don't feel sorry for DD. Feel sorry for those who knew him personally.

Originally Posted by The Benjamin

I feel bad for his family and friends. But someone taking their own life does not deserve pity from me. They gave their life up, it wasn't taken unfairly from them.

The guys family and friends will now be beating themselves up emotionally and mentally for a very long time wondering if they could have done something to stop him. Wondering if they missed some signs. Don't feel sorry for DD. Feel sorry for those who knew him personally.

That's a pretty harsh viewpoint Benji. While I don't disagree with your point about the pain it will undoubtedly cause his family and friends if you've never been in a suicidal depression you'll never appreciate what it's like and just how much it clouds your judgement.

You really don't know at what level his depression was, what may have caused it or whether he was under treatment for it. What if it resulted from injuries he received while playing, was chronic and very difficult to treat. Whether or not that's what caused it is actually immaterial. Severe depression is an illness from which for some there is no recovery and losing your life to it regardless of the reason shouldn't be despised.

Originally Posted by soulman

That's a pretty harsh viewpoint Benji. While I don't disagree with your point about the pain it will undoubtedly cause his family and friends if you've never been in a suicidal depression you'll never appreciate what it's like and just how much it clouds your judgement.

You really don't know at what level his depression was, what may have caused it or whether he was under treatment for it. What if it resulted from injuries he received while playing, was chronic and very difficult to treat. Whether or not that's what caused it is actually immaterial. Severe depression is an illness from which for some there is no recovery and losing your life to it regardless of the reason shouldn't be despised.

I dated a girl who suffered from depression for a few years, and we talked all the time. She told me everything. I have a pretty good idea.

I also had a friend who committed suicide, so I know what it is like from this end of the spectrum as well.

Again, he chose to take his life. I never said I despised him, just said I do not pity him.

Originally Posted by The Benjamin

I dated a girl who suffered from depression for a few years, and we talked all the time. She told me everything. I have a pretty good idea.

I also had a friend who committed suicide, so I know what it is like from this end of the spectrum as well.

Again, he chose to take his life. I never said I despised him, just said I do not pity him.

Just being around someone who experiences depression or even having been close to someone who has committed suicide just isn't the same Benji. No disrespect intended but until you've actually been through few suicidal depressions of your own you'll never know what that experience feels like. I have and I can tell you that the pain is so great that you just want it to end and if the means is at hand in a desperate moment you don't think about the consequences because you can't even reason them out at all. You don't think you just act.

What's really too bad is if no one knew just how bad off he was at that moment in time. Maybe it could have been prevented but then again maybe nobody cared enough to see that it was prevented either. The operative thought around anyone who appears to be suicidal is to get them to a hospital emergency room and under survelliance immediately. In many jurisdictions the hospital can keep the person on a 72 hour hold with or without permission and even longer if the situation dictates.

Originally Posted by soulman

Just being around someone who experiences depression or even having been close to someone who has committed suicide just isn't the same Benji. No disrespect intended but until you've actually been through few suicidal depressions of your own you'll never know what that experience feels like. I have and I can tell you that the pain is so great that you just want it to end and if the means is at hand in a desperate moment you don't think about the consequences because you can't even reason them out at all. You don't think you just act.

What's really too bad is if no one knew just how bad off he was at that moment in time. Maybe it could have been prevented but then again maybe nobody cared enough to see that it was prevented either. The operative thought around anyone who appears to be suicidal is to get them to a hospital emergency room and under survelliance immediately. In many jurisdictions the hospital can keep the person on a 72 hour hold with or without permission and even longer if the situation dictates.

No, I don't know what it is like first hand. But there were several nights when my gf called me up crying in the middle of the night. Several nights I spent with her talking through her problems in those instances. I may not know first hand, but I have a decent idea.

Originally Posted by The Benjamin

No, I don't know what it is like first hand. But there were several nights when my gf called me up crying in the middle of the night. Several nights I spent with her talking through her problems in those instances. I may not know first hand, but I have a decent idea.

That's my point Benji. Your level of experience with it is about the same as many psychiatrists who are asked to treat it. That's why fast intervention, hospitalization and medication may be the only things that prevent it from happening. Treating it is an art and not a science and until medical science can do a better job of pinning down effective treatments for severe repetitive depression preventable suicides will probably continue.

I don't say this to criticize you or argue with you. I only responded in order to say that any time you or anyone else is around someone who has suicidal ideations or even talks about it in an offhand manner it needs to be taken very seriously because the time cushion between just thinking about it and actually attempting suicide can be very brief.

You don't need to pity the person as much as you need to pity the fact that they didn't get help when they needed it. As for Duerson's case we may never know the whole story.

I spent a few nights with a guy whom had cancer. Fuck him for letting it overcome him!

I do feel pitty for his family however, if they had only noticed the signs earlier and stepped in to help. They will never live this down... /sarcasm.

Ignorance is bliss!

Originally Posted by blinddeafmute

I spent a few nights with a guy whom had cancer. Fuck him for letting it overcome him!

I do feel pitty for his family however, if they had only noticed the signs earlier and stepped in to help. They will never live this down... /sarcasm.

Ignorance is bliss!

Not even close to the same thing and you know it.

You know who I don't have any empathy for? Arrogant assholes who think they are doctors and can diagnose depression as a "chosen" way of life.

They've never studied anything on it, and don't know that extremely high levels of stress causes chemical imbalances in the brain leading to bad decisions such as this. Chemicals that can be replaced through meds and other methods.

The number one personality trait to hypertension is resentment. Its amazing how life can form a person.