Insults that had style

A member of Parliament to Disraeli:

"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."


"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr


"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill


Lady to Winston Churchill, If I were your wife, I would give you poison.
To which Churchill responded, madam, if I were your husband, I would take it!


"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow


"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -William Faulkner about Ernest Hemingway.

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book;
I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas


"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain


"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde


"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play;
bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill


"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." -
Winston Churchill, in response.


"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop


"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright


"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb


"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson


"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating


"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand


"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker


"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain


"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West


"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde


"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)


"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder


"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

A member of Parliament to Disraeli:

"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."


:goodpost::goodpost::laughing-019: Awesome!!

""He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)


many people, probably myself included, could learn from this lil' tidbit.

I always liked this exchange:

“Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!”

–Lady Astor to Winston Churchill at a dinner party

“Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it!”

–Winston Churchill’s response to Lady Astor

Another Churchill/Lady Astor exchange.

Astor: "Why Mr. Churchill, I believe that you are quite drunk!

Churchill: "Yes madam and I believe that you are quite ugly, however in the morning I shall be sober.

"Fine words! I wonder where you stole them." - Jonathon Swift

"What's on your mind? If you'll forgive the overstatement." - Fred Allen

"He's a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off." - Lyndon Baines Johnson (about Gerald Ford)

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." - Jack E. Leonard

"I wish I'd known you when you were alive." - Leonard Louis Levinson

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them." - James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"A little emasculated mass of inanity." - Theodore Roosevelt (about Henry James)

"You're a good example of why some animals eat their young." - Jim Samuels