Time to revamp the Dictionary

CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco
rolled in paper
with fire at one end
and a fool at the other!


MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement
wherein
a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master


LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students
without passing through the minds of either



CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man
multiplied by the number present


COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing
a cake in such a way that
everybody believes
he got the biggest piece


TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which
masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!


CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on


ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel
you are going to feel
a feeling you have never felt before


CLASSIC:
A book
which people praise,
but never read



SMILE:
A curve
that can set a lot of things straight!


OFFICE:
A place
where you can relax
after your strenuous home life




YAWN:
The only time
when some married men
ever get to open their mouth




EXPERIENCE:
The name
men give
to their Mistakes




DIPLOMAT:
A person
who tells you
to go to hell
in such a way
that you actually look forward to the trip




OPTIMIST:
A person
who while falling
from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"




MISER:
A person
who lives poor
so that he can die RICH!




FATHER:
A banker
provided by nature




BOSS:
Someone
who is early
when you are late
and late when you are early




POLITICIAN:
One who
shakes your hand
before elections
and your Confidence later




DOCTOR:
A person
who kills
your ills
by pills,
and kills you
by his bills..........