Thread: Hodgepodge

Originally Posted by ejmg35x

Wow. what else can you say but "wow".

Thanx ej . One of the main reasons I even did this, was to distract me for a few hours for a couple days, while my daughter took her first solo trip across 4 states to get to her school.

Know that commercial where the dad is giving last minute instructions to the little girl in the front seat of the car before giving her the keys ? That's me. Even tho she's 20 , and has been doing fine driving for 4yrs .... I still wind up biting my finger nails sometimes. ( ) But

everything went smooth .... so now I can and get back to normal ...

When you are a kid , if you are a picky eater , you will not eat certain things if ( for some reason ) your brain is repulsed by them. Once my mom bought chunky Jif and the first time I tried to eat it, I spit it out cuz my nonsensical brain somehow equated it with eating bugs ( and I was used to it being smooth I guess ). Also, for years I would not eat spaghetti because I was like that little girl in the commercial who says " I don't like sketty cuz it looks like worms ". It wasn't until I got to the more adventurous age of about 10 that I finally gave in to all of the suggestions ( and the nice " you're retarded " comments from my two older brothers ) and apprehensively forced myself to try it . Love. Instantly. Man all those wasted years .

So fast-forward to my frosh year in college . Two of the guy's on the football team I became fast friends with we're juniors. Bill ( back-up QB who had a quirky sense of humor and a laugh like Emelio Estevez in Young Guns ) and Fat Johnny ( a d-lineman who looked sorta like John Belushi and was almost as funny ). So it's two-a-days, we're all exhausted and hungry, and on this particular night both of them flat refused to settle for what was on the menu in the cafeteria, so they took me and a few other guys to the spaghetti joint in town. Everything was new to me. The parks, the streets, the buildings ( ha-ha the buildings ). Also, when ur in college you basically have no money so it pays to know the guys who know the spaghetti joint that has the all-you-can-eat Wednesday night special so you can get a decent meal . So we're eating, and I notice Bill shifting around in his seat like he's uncomfortable and finally he says " I gotta float an air biscuit " so he gets up and goes outside . I'm looking out the window at him and he's shifting back and forth ( trying to look inconspicuous) and I can tell he has this impatient 'will you hurry up' look on his face, then a couple people walk by and enter the building. A few moments later I saw the 'what a relief' grin on his face. He comes back in sort of laughing to himself and I say " well how'd everything come out ?". He says " it sorta played a tune ... it went paaaaaaaa-rrr-INT !" ( y'know like a trombone sounds when the accent is on the ending note ? ). Recommendation : don't be swallowing food when you ask a question like this cuz when you laugh you just might choke yourself to death. The others guys at the table learned that lesson also.
Ok done eating back to new places and new buildings. In the car Fat Johnny says " hey u guys ever been to a " ( ahh uhh um.. well lets just say you have to look like an 'adult' to go in there ). Me and a couple other young guys : " nope ". So off we go. Bout 10 minutes later we're in this store and I can only describe my reactions to certain things like how E.T. reacted to the 'humans' he saw the night they took him outside on Halloween -" Ohh" "Wheew" "Oooouch" . Seriously ? There are people who need this kinda stuff ? And the 65 year old proprietor behind the counter. He was 'interesting' looking. Kinda looked like this guy ( that's Dr. Smith from the old TV series Lost In Space for you young guys ). And he was a pretty good salesman (which Bill and Fat Johnny got an enormous kick out of ) but it was more of an educational experience for me. " No thanks Dr. Smith I won't be needing any of THOSE items tonight heh heh " ( or ever I was thinking ). Nice enough guy, but he had this unique way of walking which I can only describe as shuffling and popping up on his tippy-toes . Leaves you thinkin - did I see that on Monty Python somewhere ? Well anyways, I didn't buy anything. Didn't have any money and I still would rather spend it on " Sketty " anyways. That's adventurous enough for me . I'll leave the crunchy Jif to others .

Let's go Bears and peace out.

Back in the day there was this old dude we called Pops . He didn't make much of his life . Basically he was this old good-fer-nuthin rummy, pud-whacker who lived his whole life in the house he grew up in with his mom. She had hoped for better, but he had chosen his path, and she didn't have the heart to kick him out . He was helpful enough around the house tho ( on the days he wasn't sleeping off a hangover ) and she needed it as she got older. It was rumored he drank TWO CASES of beer a day, ( or , as he called em , barley pops ) and I don't know if I believe that , but he did walk with his arms hangin down by his sides with his hands cupped backwards like he WAS carrying a case of beer in each hand ( I ain't kiddin neither ) . You or I did that and there's no doubt we'd be ' hangin with Elvis '. But I guess he built up his tolerance .
One day his mom finally met her maker and Pops , at about the age of 65 , finally had the house all to himself .... ( or so he 'thought' ).
When the will was read , much to his dismay , mom stipulated that all of her 'assets' ( the crumbling old run down 'house' ) was to be evenly divided between Pops and his long lost sister ( who hardly ever visited as far as I know ) ... and she wanted to sell it . Pops the Dutiful Son was , I guess , pretty much beyond furious with this .... or as furious a someone with one working brain cell left can be. He had thought he had 'earned' the right to be given the house .
After some legal wrangling , Pops had come to the conclusion that he wasn't gonna win - but he wasn't gonna 'lose' either . My understanding is that he called up the insurance company and had the insurance cancelled . Then , a day or two later , he called up his sister and said " You want the house ? " Sister : " you do anything crazy and it's straight to hell you go ". " Yeah ? " - " well then u better get over here and put the fire out ".

Then he went outside to sit in the lawn chair ( next to the table with the beers on it that he had already set up ) and waited for the fire dept to show up . I guess there's no law against breaking ur own stuff , but way back then I was too young to know , and I heard Pops wound up in the hoosegow.

Drinkin tons a beer can be really good fer ya.

Hope some of ya'll enjoyed that.

+1 for the use of "hoosegow"
+1 for the verbage used by the mutant superhero Wolverine
-1 for lack of bewbs

Originally Posted by short faced bear

+1 for the use of "hoosegow"
+1 for the verbage used by the mutant superhero Wolverine
-1 for lack of bewbs

-tks
-tks
- " well moms bewbs were ....." n/m ( maybe a story of that sort , that doesn't belong in TBS , will pop into the noggin someday and i'll throw it on here )