Julius Peppers profile (107 percent true!)

Julius Caesar Peppers was born sometime in the 16th Century just outside of Normandy France. After spending several years hanging out with that Treebeard guy from Lord of the Rings and then as a traveling knife salesman, Peppers decided to join the National Football League. He spend the first years of his career as a Carolina Panther where he began building up his resume for the Chicago Bears. Once a Bear, Peppers "unleashed the dragon" and began dominating everyone in the league and in at least three other major sports leagues that he doesn't even play in.

Peppers is eight feet, 22 inches tall. His weight is 400 pounds 5 ounces. He runs the 40-yard dash at three times the speed of light and bench presses Japan.

Peppers lives a quiet life off the football field, where he spends his free time saving old ladies from burning buildings and adopting, like, a 1000 poor kids.

Feel free to add to his profile if you think I've left anything out.

I heard Rodgers Concussion was actually the Realization that peppers is a chicago Bear, and the thought alone hit him so hard he's still seing stars.....

Julius Peppers is why Chuck Norris stopped making movies.




He's training. More.

there are rumors Peppers takes plays and games off lmfao what a crap rumor

Julius peppers is the inspiration of the "Jesus" character from the bible.
He was the 4th target on 9/11.
got drunk and crashed Lance Brigg's car.
Played helen Keller on broadway and was considered the most accurate portrayal.
Invaded Poland and blamed it on hitler, just for the lulz.
Posts on this mb as "Mikey".
Put Stephen Hawking in a wheelchair.
Played Russian roulette with Kurt Cobain.
Tackled Joe Theismann.
Set up O.J. Twice.

He was the Gunman on the Grassy Knoll
He makes Neo look like Mr Smith.
He taught Yoda how to use the force.
He went back in time, committed the Valentine's Day Massacre on a Victory Monday.
Peppers, helped George Washington Free America from the British.

Crash landed at Roswell after an all night bender in his UFO.
Is the father of all 6 brady kids.
Has 3 flux capacitors.
Invented dungeons and dragons to keep geeks off the street.
Shot Tony Montana in the back.
Kidnapped Patty Hearst.
Told Abraham to kill his own son, again, for lulz.
Shot up Ruby Ridge.
Set the white house on fire in 1814.
Broke up the Beatles and killed Jim Morrison.
Made Rosa Parks give up her seat.
Has an alarm set for the exact moment Miley Cyrus turns 18.
Told a joke so funny it gave George Carlin a heart attack.

Faked Favre's voice(in a certain phone call) just to force him to retire.
Sent Bigfoot into hiding.
Puts fake Craigslist ads for cars just so he can punch people ghey enough to drive a KIA.
Got Elvis hooked on pills.
Was the lead guitarist in the Jimi Hendrix experience.
IS the real reason why Mickey Rourke is so ugly.
Ruined the ending of "Inception" for me by explaining the plot thoroughly in 20 seconds.
Called in fake emergency calls to 911.
Shot the Hamburgler for trying to take his shit.
Was Amelia Earhart's co-pilot.

It's true, Julius Peppers does take plays off. However, when he is taking plays off, he is saving old ladies from buring buildings, getting cats out of neighbors trees, and occasionally he is sacking QB's at other games when defensives are in need (you've heard QB's say "I did not even see Peppers, I did not know I was playing Peppers, where did he come from?").

He was the man who flew into the stadium with a cape on.

This guy is frickin outstanding. Better than I thought.

Julius Peppers dressed up as a dog and convinced Sam Berkowitz to do "his bidding".
Invented gays to have less competition (not that he had any, anyway).
Wore a dress and played Robin Williams' stunt double in Mrs. Doubtfire.