Julius Peppers profile (107 percent true!)
Julius Caesar Peppers was born sometime in the 16th Century just outside of Normandy France. After spending several years hanging out with that Treebeard guy from Lord of the Rings and then as a traveling knife salesman, Peppers decided to join the National Football League. He spend the first years of his career as a Carolina Panther where he began building up his resume for the Chicago Bears. Once a Bear, Peppers "unleashed the dragon" and began dominating everyone in the league and in at least three other major sports leagues that he doesn't even play in.
Peppers is eight feet, 22 inches tall. His weight is 400 pounds 5 ounces. He runs the 40-yard dash at three times the speed of light and bench presses Japan.
Peppers lives a quiet life off the football field, where he spends his free time saving old ladies from burning buildings and adopting, like, a 1000 poor kids.
Feel free to add to his profile if you think I've left anything out.