Thread: Top Ten Ways to Protect Jay Cutler

Jay Cutler continues to take a beating and there’s no help in sight. Actually, it’s sad. Really sad that we’re wasting the talents of this quarterback by failing to give him even the minimum basis protection. So with tongue firmly planted in cheek, I give you my Top 10 Ways to Protect Jay Cutler:

10. Dig a moat at the line of scrimmage

This might slow down defenders, but Forte might have an even tougher time hitting the right hole

9. Tie opponents shoelaces together

Now all we need is a little guy to sneak across the line of scrimmage to do it. Garrett Wolfe isn’t doing much

8. Spike the opposing sidelines’ Gatorade


7. Replace opponents’ spikes with roller skates


6. Have Jay wear a red jersey every week and tell opponents that they can’t hit the guy in the red jersey.


5. Allow the Bears Offensive line to use tasers


4. Get Jay one of those padded suits that dog trainers wear


3. Use a Delorean converted into a time machine to bring back Orlando Pace circa 2000.</STRONG>


2. Use a stunt double wearing a #6 jersey


1. Start using hot routes:



Wait. That’s what they’ve been doing so far this season!