Thread: The less than good replacement rankings week six

Every Tuesday I sit bored off my ass at work and wait with baited breath for the weekly shower rankings. The time they come can never come soon enough, unfortunately, do to circumstances beyond his control, OneManSwarm is unable to do them this week, so I volunteered to fill in for the week.

1. Steelers (4-1) Ben Roethlisberger returns from his suspension for raping women just in time to rape the Browns.

2. Jets (5-1) Three things to keep in mind. Revis Island is not impenetrable, the Jets are damn good, and Rex Ryan loves horse meat.

3. Patriots (4-1) Hey Brady, Justin Bieber called, he wants his hair back. Lucky for you he is leaving you alone to win games so he can beat up kids during Laser Tag.

4- Ravens (4-2) Has any team come off looking better after a loss?*

5- Falcons (4-2) In the battle if the birds, the dirty bird took a bigger beating than I will for these less than stellar rankings. Or maybe not.

6- Colts (4-2) Run up to the line, point at a few people and throw a touchdown.

7. Saints (4-2) When the Saints went marching in, they took the wind out of the sails of the Bucs.

8. Eagles (4-2) No matter if it is *Kolb or Vick, this team looks like it will continue to soar.

9. Giants (4-2) True fact, if you sack Cutler nine times in a half, you will win three straight games.

10. Bears (4-2) The offensive line is the only thing blocking the Bears from being a serious contender. See, they can block something.

11. Titans (4-2) In Greek mythology the Titans were feared more than the gods. Now the Jaguars know why.

12. Texans (4-2) A bigger surprise than the Texans being 4-2? My thinking I had the witty comments to fill in for a week.

13. Dolphins (3-2) *PETA gave their full support to the Phins because they were tired of seeing those folks up in Green Bay abusing animals.

14. Packers (3-3) The preseason Super Bowl Champions lost a close one to the Dolphins, I guess cheese is not a good way to catch fish. DAMN YOU URKEL!

15. Buccaneers (3-2) New Orleans swept over Tampa Bay like a Hurricane.

16. Chiefs (3-2) After a 3-0 start, they have stacked up two losses. You can cancel those playoff tickets, not that anyone actually thought this team was for real anyway.

17. Cardinals- (3-2) Random Bye Week Thought- *If you are still reading this, you must have a high tolerance for pain.

18. Rams- (3-3) They may very well be the best team that no one is talking about.

19.- Redskins (3-3) Having apparently no defense, you have to wonder how the Indians lasted as long as they did before the Pilgrims killed them all off.

20- Chargers (2-4) If they keep playing the way they are, fans may start charging the ownership to attend the game.

21. Bengals (3-2) Random Bye Week Thought: I wonder what will last longer, the T-Ocho show or the time between convict signings.

22. Jaguars (3-3)- The nickname jags has never been more appropriate for this bunch.

23. Seahawks (2-3) Another day, another team makes Jay Cutler their bitch.

24. Vikings (2-3) What can I say, they won the losers bowl by beating the most over rated team since the 2008 Chicago Cubs.

25. Broncos (2-4)- Orton is racking up yards almost as quickly as he is racking up losses.

26. Raiders (2-4) - Not even the black hole is scary enough to defeat the samurai.

27. Cowboys (1-4)- The Super Bowl is being held in Dallas this year. While they lost the losers bowl and will not be attending the main event, we can only hope the Dallas Cowgirls do show up.

28. Lions (1-4) -The Lions may be the best, most dangerous and most exciting team that just can not win a game if they were playing a scrimmage game.

29. 49ers (1-4) -After being told that his team will still win the division, coach “cant do it” actually did it.

30. Browns (1-5)- The Browns season is about as exciting as my one liners.

31. Panthers (0-5) Random Bye Week Thought- After another quarterback switch, one has to wonder if the ownership team is considering switching sports to give the Panthers a better chance to win a game. If you know an easy sport, be sure to call them.

32 Bills (0-5) Random Bye Week Thought- There is a God. For one week we did not have to see the two worst teams in the NFL.