http://blogs.chicagosports.chicagotr...-+RosenBlog%29 If only the Bears would run the ball the way they run their mouths Please, someone ask Jon Stewart if he can switch to Halas Hall for the site of his “Rally To Restore Sanity.’’
I mean, Washington, D.C., is a Mensa meeting compared to the lunatic words and actions in Lake Forest.
Mike Martz, f’rinstance, is back to being Chance the gardner in “Being There.’’
For those of you who didn’t take a cinema class in college (where do you think “Mickey Mouse’’ courses got that nickname?), Peter Sellers earned an Oscar nomination for his role as a simpleton who speaks silly things he heard on television and gets mistaken for profound as he is embraced by the administration.
The Bears have to run the ball more, Chance the offensive coordinator said Wednesday,
just like he heard his coach say on television Monday. Martz has said this regularly on Wednesdays, and then called more than 40 pass plays on Sunday. This, mind you, comes a week after he called 47 passes compared to 12 runs in a loss and later said the Bears need to run the ball more. You think? And who is exactly is the guy in charge of making those calls?
Crazy, I’m telling you. But no matter what he says about balance, Martz is addicted to throwing the ball, passing is the crack of his offense, and nobody has staged an intervention.
Martz is only allowed to speak publicly once a week, and we’re seeing why. He blathered this week about his top receivers, Devin Hester and Johnny Knox, and this was after both of them gave up on plays and refused to fight to keep an interception out of a defender’s hands.
And as for that defender, Washington’s DeAngelo Hall just flat guessed against the Bears. That’s Martz’s excuse for Hall’s intercepting Jay Cutler four times in the second half. Four times he guessed right against the Bears for interceptions? Guessed? Cutler threw two stupid lollipop passes that Hall picked off. Listen, pal, nobody has to guess that Cutler will make some stupid passes.
The other two picks came when Hall jumped routes. Did he guess, or has Martz’s complex offense and his apparent inability to coach it to respectability given opponents all kinds of clues about which play is coming and who the ball is coming to? The Bears can’t block consistently when they max protect, so they are under siege with every other scheme, which means Cutler has to throw quickly or turn into Chip Diller --- “Thank you, sir, may I have another’’
--- so there’s not a lot of guesswork when Hester and Knox make one move. That’s all the Bears offense has time for if an opponent blitzes.
And another thing: If Martz is so convinced that Hall was guessing, why didn’t he call plays that took advantage of that?
What’s worse, Martz’s crazy virus is contagious. Cutler said the Bears know they have things to “clean up’’ offensively during the bye week, then Cutler didn’t throw in Wednesday’s practice. Yeah, who needs practice when the timing between quarterback and receivers is so good already? So Bears. So crazy. I mean, if Cutler’s on the sidelines, what are you working on? Concussion testing?
Cutler said the Bears “are going to address (their problems) this week." Really? A week is enough time to fix the third-worst offense in the league? The worst third-down offense, and worst by a lot? The most sacks and most interceptions in the NFL? The second-worst red zone offense? Really? A week? Not even a week, not with Cutler sitting out a day. I’m telling you, Martz’s strain of lunacy is spreading.
Cutler has been bad, but he’s less guilty of crimes against good football than Martz. Cutler is executing what his coach calls, while Martz is calling crazy games. However you want to divvy up the blame, the Bears’ two most important offensive figures can’t seem to recognize and then play the game that’s there.
More lunacy: General Manager Jerry Angelo said it’s not talent that you need on the offensive line, it’s cohesiveness. Well, first of all, you need talent. I’d start at general manager, but that’s not the Bears’ way. Second, Chris Williams shows what happens when you have a lot more money than ability. And if it’s all about cohesiveness, how come Angelo’s Bears are now working on their fifth starting line combination after seven games?
But the most insane part of all is this: The Bears have converted only five of their last 50 third downs, none of their 10 chances at the goal line, have a coach who does not understand the concept of the challenge flag, and they’re 4-3 and in first place. In. Sane.
Crazier still, with Green Bay putting its entire roster on injured reserve and Brett Favre working as a double agent in Minnesota, the Bears can win this division despite themselves. But if they had any foresight and rational thinking, they would ratchet down the offense, run the ball to rest the outstanding defense, and win enough games in a cruddy conference to gain a bye in the playoffs.
Could happen. Could. Don’t you dare tell me I’m crazy after you’ve heard and read what Bears folks are saying. The Bears need a reality check. A reality drive-thru, at least. Something, anything more than the usual game plan of big talk and little action.
Restore sanity or call Nurse Ratched
to have someone alert the ward it’s medication time.