"All I know is that he goes by the nickname 'Motownbear', and he was standing in my living room, wearing only a Michigan helmet and he had his genitals tucked in between his legs.... I quickly exited my home before he could come into contact with me. That is all I know."
"So I pop my collar like this and turn to him and say, "BigClaws I vant to suck your ****." Best 3.5 minutes of my life. And didn't have to floss that night."