Lovie has Bears practicing in dome to prepare for game in the freezer
RICK TELANDER rtelander@suntimes.com .hideTime { display:none; }Dec 17, 2010 02:33AM
University of Minnesota official Gary Bowman huddles with the media at TCF Stadium, where the Vikings and Bears are set to play Monday. | Craig Lassig~AP
They just don’t make roofs like they used to.
And weirdness follows.
For instance, when the roof of the Metrodome in Minneapolis — home to the Vikings — caved in Sunday from the tons of snow on top, everybody’s first thought had to be, or at least mine was: What if Brett Favre is under there and this is how his career ends!
Shortly, we got the Vikings moving their scheduled Sunday home game against the Giants to Monday night in Detroit’s Ford Field — the Motor City being a Minneapolis suburb where, by God, they still make sturdy stuff!
Then, the Bears, who play the Vikings this Monday night, are told they, too, will play the snow-forsaken team in Detroit.
But, wait a minute.
Minneapolis — the entire Great White North — confers.
No!
The Bears will play the Vikings in the frozen-as-liquid nitrogen and closed-for-the-winter TCF Bank Stadium on the University of Minnesota campus.
Just need teams of volunteer snow shovelers, plows, tractors, blowtorches, sled dogs and St. Bernards with brandy casks under their chins.
The Minneapolis forecast for Monday? High of 18, low of 5, chance of snow, wind chill down to minus-18.
So here I am Thursday afternoon inside the Walter Payton Dome on the grounds of Halas Hall, watching the Bears prepare for the ensuing snowy, dark and deep event, and they’re running around in orange shorts in 68-degree weather!
What the ... ?
‘‘As far as the field goes,’’ said Lovie Smith ever so calmly afterward, ‘‘it really doesn’t matter.’’
Yeah?
Tell that to your players who were turned into human skate guards by the visiting Patriots on Sunday on just such a field.
I mean, moving forward, when I want to mentally cool down during a Chicago summer heat wave, I’ll conjure up the image of Bears safety Major Wright face-planting himself in the ice and snow at the heels of galloping Patriots wide receiver Deion Branch.
‘‘There’s no reason, really, to talk about it a lot more,’’ Lovie said of the outdoor issue.
Ha!
Hibernation is not a good thing
The Bears have proven that they don’t thrive in ‘‘Bear weather.’’ In truth, they act like real bears when it’s cold and miserable out; they partially hibernate. And you know what? Real bears enjoy summer, when they can paw up blueberries and gorge at city dumps.
Yes, it’s also true, the Bears play terribly in the Metrodome, having lost seven of their last eight games there.
But ding-dong, the Dome is dead! And playing at Ford Field would be a fine, neutralizing site.
But not only aren’t the Bears protesting the move to TCF Bank Stadium, they’re kind of shrugging it off.
‘‘There’s really no reason to protest right now,’’ said Bears player rep Robbie Gould as he walked off the practice turf in the Payton Center. ‘‘If it’s ice-covered, I’m sure the NFL will make the right decision. I really don’t think a lot of players are thinking about it. Our biggest focus is worrying about the Vikings.’’
Of course. Of course.
Who’s going to be the Vikings’ quarterback? That’s a huge deal.
Will it be some hamstring-limited human named Joe Webb (known to his mother and certain scouts), out-of-the-loop, has-been Patrick Ramsey, or even the brutalized and mutating-before-our-eyes Favre, who lurches onward, no end in sight?
‘‘You would like to know,’’ said Lovie calmly.
Help.
No matter what the other uncertainties, the Bears — how can I put this gently — should be practicing out in the crap they’ll be playing in Monday night!
‘‘We’re going to practice at least one [time] outside,’’ said Lovie, calmly, when this was mentioned to him by yours truly. Can we agree this man is to calm as an orange is to orange?
Patriots snow how to do it
This isn’t how the Patriots, the best team in the NFL, do it. Why are they so good in the snow?
‘‘Because we practice in it, to tell you the truth,’’ said quarterback Tom Brady. ‘‘We don’t go in the bubble very often. If it’s windy out there, we practice out there. If it’s snowy, we practice in the snow. If it’s raining, we practice in the rain.’’
I am reminded here of Super Bowl XLI on Feb. 4, 2007, when Smith’s Bears were whipped by the Colts 29-17 in a steady Miami downpour. Bears quarterback Rex Grossman looked uncertain. Colts QB and Super Bowl MVP Peyton Manning didn’t, having practiced with a ball soaked in a bucket of water during the week.
Who knows if any of this is relevant?
The Bears are unknowable, unpredictable, as impenetrable as their coach.
Does it matter that they have 33 players on their roster who went to college below the Mason-Dixon Line?
‘‘I’ve never played in cold before,’’ said wideout Johnny Knox, from Abilene Christian by way of Houston. ‘‘Being out there and playing is fun.’’
Then he amended: ‘‘It’s a little fun.’’
And a lot weird.





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