Thread: Cutler prepares will, says last good-byes before game with the Giants

Originally Posted by The Benjamin

on August 22, 2011
by Michael Kloempken


Jay Cutler doesn’t really recall much about the last time the Bears played the Giants. The only thing he can remember is that was pummeled by someone on every other play and that he thought he was someone else for five minutes after being taken out of the game.
“When they asked me if I knew who I was, I told them I was Chino Moroni, a pimp from the South Side of Chicago,” said Cutler. “I told him I had to get back to my girls, but I soon snapped out of it.”
After the poor performance the Bears’ offensive line showed during its first preseason game, Cutler is worried something worse might happen this time with the Giants. That’s why he’s created a will that will direct where all of his assets go should one of the Giants’ linemen break through his weak offensive line, throw him to the ground and end his life out on the field.
Cutler’s already called his parents to say good-bye, made amends with his celebrity ex-fiancee and took a trip to Six Flags with best buddy Greg Olson before the game in case something drastic happens.
“I just want to make sure I have everything covered and that I’ve said all of my good-byes,” said an unusually emotional Cutler. “I even went to church today and said a few prayers.”

Cutler was even seen smiling at training camp, signing a bunch of autographs for confused fans.
“Usually Cutler scowls and throws water at us when we ask for an autograph,” said Gary Benson, who has tried numerous times to get the mercurial quarterback’s signature for his son. “He must really be trying hard to make up for all the times he was such a jerk to everybody.”

LOL, they'll yank him right after the 2nd sack if they know what's good for them. Then he'll have to break up with Kristin all over again.

I've gone on record time after time stating that the preseason games don't mean a thing. That being said, if Cutler is under a shitload of pressure, again, they better yank him. I'll be pissed because we didn't do much for our O-line in free agency and it could potentially even affect valuable "practice time" against another opponent. If our O-line is so bad that we can't even get Cutler reps in the preseason, then we know what to expect during the regular season as far as where this offense will be ranked. I'm not trying to put the cart before the horse here, and I know there are still two more preseason games after tonight, but I will watching this O line pretty closely tonight.

Never have I ever paid so much attention to our O-line to the point that I actually give a shit about this game.

I told them I was Chino Moroni

And THAT is how he should give autographs!

Originally Posted by The Benjamin

who knows who broke up with who. There were recent reports that said she broke up with him.

Not that anyone really cares, or that it really matters!

Ok then THEY'LL have to break up all over again. Now that aside I'm gonna do the same that Claws is doing and that's watch how they block each play and who seems to be struggling the most. One more game like the Bills game and heads should roll somewhere. They'll need to make changes and making the right ones will make all the difference in the world.

you can watch tonights... I have the clap.

Well, Caleb royally sucked tonight. The o-line, hell, the backup o-line did a good job on running plays. If Roy makes the team, hopefully he can be a multi-use player: holding fg's for robbie gould, getting Sanzabah and Knox gatorade, grow a new pair of arms and hands(because the last ones didn't help him) and maybe play PS. Don't start this chump over ANYONE..