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Thread: The jackie jokeman Electric Acid Koolaid Test.........

  1. #1
    Mello Jello soulman's Avatar
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    The jackie jokeman Electric Acid Koolaid Test.........

    Bears just might be Super Bowl-bound

    BY MARK POTASH mpotash@suntimes.com September 2, 2012 11:18PM CHICAGO, IL - AUGUST 18: Jay Cutler #6 of the Chicago Bears passes against the Washington Redskins during a preseason game at Soldier Field on August 18, 2012 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)

    Updated: September 3, 2012 2:21AM


    Will Lovie Smith be holding the Lombardi Trophy or looking for a job at the end of the 2012 season?




    Either of those extremes is a real possibility as the Bears prepare for their season opener Sunday against the Indianapolis Colts at Soldier Field. With a retooled offense designed for Jay Cutler to succeed — specifically the addition of big wide receivers Brandon Marshall and Alshon Jeffery and Mike Tice replacing Mike Martz as offensive coordinator — the Bears are well-equipped to win with offense.

    Pending the health of middle linebacker Brian Urlacher — he has not practiced since July 31 but insists he’ll be ready to go against the Colts — their defensive core is intact, with Urlacher, linebacker Lance Briggs, cornerback Charles Tillman and defensive end Julius Peppers coming off Pro Bowl seasons.


    But as the Bears learned painfully last season, it’s a fine line. One moment, they were on their way to 7-3 with a five-game winning streak and were arguably the strongest challenger to the unbeaten Green Bay Packers in the NFC. The next moment, their playoff hopes were — as it turned out — doomed.


    The 2012 season has an even greater variance. The Bears could be among the top contenders for the NFC championship. But if Urlacher breaks down and any of several other key factors doesn’t work out, they could miss the playoffs for the fifth time in six years, which could convince first-year general manager Phil Emery to replace Smith to get the Bears back on track for 2013.

    (And here's the test which I dedicate to jackie jokeman our All Pro Optimist.)

    So the optimism of Bears fans is warranted. But so is the pessimism. Where do you stand? Take this test to find out. Rate these categories, with 10 points for an optimistic vote, minus-10 for a pessimistic vote and zero for a neutral vote.

    MATT FORTE

    Optimist: Unburdened by contract talk and fully recovered from a knee injury, a rejuvenated, motivated Forte will be the best all-around running back in football, a team leader and an all-around good guy.


    Pessimist: Mentally exhausted from more than a year of worrying and whining about his contract, a weary, wealthy Forte will struggle with a less prominent role in a Jay Cutler/Brandon Marshall-dominated offense and play most of the year at less than 100 percent.


    BRIAN URLACHER

    Optimist: Playing fewer snaps because of a better offense and several fourth-quarter blowouts, the eight-time Pro Bowler will continue to get better with age and experience on his way to the Hall of Fame.


    Pessimist: Still feeling the effects of a Week 17 knee injury that was more serious than the Bears said, Urlacher, 34, will be hampered early in the season, lash out at criticism that he’s ‘‘over the hill’’ and ‘‘overrated’’ and take a precipitous fall toward retirement.


    BEARS’ OFFENSE

    Optimist: With Jay Cutler in his prime, big targets in Brandon Marshall and Alshon Jeffery, versatile running back Matt Forte, an O-line better than anyone expects and Mike Tice playing to his strengths, the Bears will thrill the nation with their best offense since the 1940s.


    Pessimist: With Cutler and the offense adjusting to a new system, new receivers, a new right tackle and Tice and Jeremy Bates struggling to define their roles, the Bears won’t click until the meaningless last three games — just in time to instill hope for 2013.

    BEARS’ DEFENSE

    Optimist: Playing with the wind at its back thanks to a high-powered offense will reinvigorate Julius Peppers, Brian Urlacher, Lance Briggs and Charles Tillman and allow youngsters Shea McClellin, Chris Conte and Major Wright to blossom.


    Pessimist: Still having to carry the team as the offense adjusts to Mike Tice, Peppers, Urlacher, Briggs and Tillman will show their age, with the chain reaction and constant questions and criticism pushing Lovie Smith’s defense over the proverbial cliff and into the ‘‘start-from-scratch’’ abyss.


    SHEA McCLELLIN

    Optimist: With his speed, athleticism and ability to play almost anywhere, the multidimensional rookie will give the defense a shot of rejuvenation it badly needs.


    Pessimist: Not nearly as ready to be a hand-on-the-ground defensive end as Lovie Smith told us, the rookie from Boise State will be a bad fit anywhere on the field, either too slow, too small, too big or too inexperienced to make an impact.


    GABE CARIMI

    Optimist: Fully recovered from a knee injury, the 2011 first-round pick will step right into Mike Tice’s offense and give the Bears a Pro Bowl-quality anchor at right tackle that allows the rest of the line to fall neatly into place.


    Pessimist: Playing at full-tilt for the first time in nearly a year, Carimi will be rusty early and aggravate his previous injury or suffer a new one, creating limbo at right tackle that will prevent the line from establishing the anchor and continuity it needs.

    ALSHON JEFFERY

    Optimist: Nurtured by a veteran offensive group and a Pro Bowl quarterback, the quiet, humble wide receiver from South Carolina will thrive in the red zone and emerge as a Rookie of the Year candidate with a 1,000-yard season and 20-plus yards per catch.


    Pessimist: After thriving in the casual environment of training camp, the bashful, soft-spoken Jeffery will be overwhelmed by the intensity of the regular season, crumble under criticism for an early drop or two and struggle silently and miserably through a difficult rookie season.

    JAY CUTLER

    Optimist: Finally in a comfort zone with Brandon Marshall, QBs coach Jeremy Bates, another big receiver in Alshon Jeffery and an OC who will protect him, a more mature, less quirky Cutler will blossom into the elite QB everyone expected.


    Pessimist: The easily annoyed Cutler will be consumed by high expectations, distracted by his weekly radio show and fatherhood, try too hard to re-establish the Marshall connection and finish with the same 8-8 record his team had the last time he was in that comfort zone.

    BRANDON MARSHALL
    Optimist: Buoyed by an inner peace after years of volatile personal issues, a strong, resolute Marshall will reach superstar status and become the best Bears wide receiver since Harlon Hill.

    Pessimist: Hindered by an inner peace that has robbed him of the edge that made him ‘‘The Beast,’’ a docile, reticent Marshall will struggle early, lash out at the inevitable criticism and be the most disappointing wide-receiver acquisition since Muhsin Muhammad.

    JULIUS PEPPERS

    Optimist: Motivated by constant questions about why Jared Allen beat double teams for 22 sacks last year while he had 11, the reticent star will respond with a breakout season, approaching the 19 sacks he had in his first two years with the Bears combined.


    Pessimist: No longer able to dominate with his innate athleticism, Peppers, 32, will wilt under the pressure of having to carry too much of the D-line load and get his share of sacks but not the difference-making plays the Bears are paying him to provide.


    Scoring

    90-100 — Lay off the Kool-Aid.

    70-80 — Must be new in town.

    30-60 — Realist.

    20 to minus-20 — Seeing is believing.

    Minus-30 to minus-40 — Sports-radio listener.

    Minus-50 to minus-70 — Waiting for Ditka’s return.

    Minus-80 to minus-100 — Packers fan.
    Last edited by soulman; 09-05-2012 at 12:49 AM.
    I'm getting to that age where a lifetime warranty just doesn't mean as much to me anymore as an afternoon nap.



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  • #2
    Certified Oline Zealot JustAnotherBearsFan99's Avatar
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Gift received at 04-16-2013, 02:27 PM from weneedmorelinemen
Message: Here you go, buddy.  Wear it with pride.GameballBears Head LogoGeorge Halas
    I don't agree with ANY of those answers, positive OR negative. I'm somewhere in the middle, between either extreme. Maybe there should be a 3rd question in each category that is "Realist"......
    Last edited by JustAnotherBearsFan99; 09-05-2012 at 09:19 AM.
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  • BEAR DOWN! Dagan81, Wolfman say BEAR DOWN!
  • #3
    Member XaosGorilla's Avatar
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    Keep in mind that if you go "optimist" on 3 answers and neutral for everything else, then you are a "realist". As defined by this article....
    "Professional Armchair Quarterback" and other oxymora.....

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    Mello Jello soulman's Avatar
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Gift received at 11-07-2012, 07:28 AM from GermansbombedPH
Message: Better than that soap water guniessTequilla
Gift received at 09-22-2012, 10:24 AM from Riczaj01
Message: downhere in Northern Mexico(aka San Antonio Texas), we tend to share this....not my personal favorite, but I'm definately in the minority.Trophy
Gift received at 01-30-2012, 01:48 PM from Dagan81
Message: Because you're the best God damn poster on this message board!  And, a true friend at that!9599
    Well given the extremes on both sides of the answers I think it's pretty "tongue in cheek" but that's why I dedicated it to jackie. The optimists side sounds like he wrote the answers.
    I'm getting to that age where a lifetime warranty just doesn't mean as much to me anymore as an afternoon nap.



    Honey Badger Don't Care. Honey Badger Don't Give a Shit.


  • #5
    Yankee Doodle Dandy Dagan81's Avatar
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Gift received at 08-26-2012, 07:39 AM from ZifanQ
Message: It worked! Here you go buddy! 
Cheers for the answersOld Style
Gift received at 05-15-2012, 10:16 PM from short faced bear
Message: It's not rep but hey it's beerBeer Me!
Gift received at 01-29-2012, 10:01 PM from soulman
Message: Consider yourself beered.Beer Me!
Gift received at 01-29-2012, 09:59 PM from BearJimKeg
Gift received at 10-21-2011, 07:39 AM from Bear Goggles
Message: Beer'd
    Ah, Jackie. A legend in his own mind. lol

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    Member Shark86x's Avatar
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    Woohoo! a perfect score! 100! Where was this test 35 years ago when I was in school????

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