Finally, a use for Bears tight ends

**bearsinhouston** · 12-06-2012, 10:37 PM

Originally Posted by Alf The Ref

Kellen Davis is a wimp football player . I've seen his kind before . The guys who get up from practically every catch with that wounded 'ouch' look on their faces , would actually prefer not having to do it (and block one on one ) and are the kind who truly hate Sundays - when it's not practice and your opponent is playing for keeps .

It sux cuz the talent actually is there - but ( like a boxer who doesn't like getting hit ) it's NEVER gonna work with him . He doesn't like the pain and can't man up for 60 minutes on Sundays . If I was GM I'd have cut him 3yrs ago . You know it when you see it . I can't wait till he's off this team .

The ouch could be from being butthurt on the play now that we know players are using Viagra on the field. Never get tackled from behind...

**ZifanQ** · 12-07-2012, 04:20 AM

When I read the headline I was like: Oh seems like we got new waterboys.

**bearsinhouston** · 12-07-2012, 08:48 AM

They tried that, but they kept dropping the bottles they were carrying and the players were complaing they were getting dirt when they drank the water. They had to put them back at TE. Tice says the TE's are fine. He's got a great group. The OL is fine and the TE's are fine. He is a lucky man.

Originally Posted by ZifanQ

When I read the headline I was like: Oh seems like we got new waterboys.

**JustAnotherBearsFan99** · 12-07-2012, 08:56 AM

Great news!!!!

Mike Tice has figured out a way to help our TE's catch balls better. Circus monkeys. It's actually Jerry Angelo's idea. Before he left, he realized the TE's couldn't catch a ball to save their lives, so he got a great deal on a few old circus monkeys. Each of the monkeys has been assigned a TE, and the monkey will ride on the helmet of the player when he runs routes.

Here's the beauty of the plan (only J.A. has the vision for something this brilliant), the MONKEY makes the catches. The TE only has to run the routes. Tice has worked for several weeks with these monkeys prepping them for the Vikings game debut.

I can't wait to see 'em in action.

**bearsinhouston** · 12-07-2012, 09:12 AM

Since they are also on the field, do the monkeys also have to take Viagra?

Originally Posted by JustAnotherBearsFan99

Great news!!!!

Mike Tice has figured out a way to help our TE's catch balls better. Circus monkeys. It's actually Jerry Angelo's idea. Before he left, he realized the TE's couldn't catch a ball to save their lives, so he got a great deal on a few old circus monkeys. Each of the monkeys has been assigned a TE, and the monkey will ride on the helmet of the player when he runs routes.

Here's the beauty of the plan (only J.A. has the vision for something this brilliant), the MONKEY makes the catches. The TE only has to run the routes. Tice has worked for several weeks with these monkeys prepping them for the Vikings game debut.

I can't wait to see 'em in action.

**MarkBear** · 12-07-2012, 09:55 AM

How tall is Kellen Davis? Tall as hell. How much do Kellen weight? Big as hell. If he is all this, how come he can't catch the ball???? Damn shame.....

**77 StingRay Bass** · 12-07-2012, 10:02 AM

Boy, what a mess...
Gotta re-think this whole thing, CLEAN HOUSE!!!

**JustAnotherBearsFan99** · 12-07-2012, 10:24 AM

Originally Posted by bearsinhouston

Since they are also on the field, do the monkeys also have to take Viagra?

No viagra, because the TE's have to take their monkeys home at night and care for them (can't imagine trying to care for a monkey loaded up on viagra). Also, these are old, retired monkeys from the circus. Their hearts are not up to handling the viagra.

The McCaskeys are thrilled with this monkey idea. The monkeys are not subject to the player's union CBA and will literally play for bananas. The McCaskey family is having Emery research the posibility of replacing several of our players with monkeys now.

Rumor has it, that Mike Tice is developing a "Hester Package" that is run exclusively by monkeys (even the oline will be monkeys). There has been one serious problem though. Someone (I think it was B.Marsh, trying to be funny) told J'Marcus Webb, that his monkey would only eat Tacos. It scared the crap out of Webb, because he didn't want to share. Cutler calmed Webb down and explained that all he had to feed his monkey was bananas. Webb was cool with that.

**bearsinhouston** · 12-07-2012, 10:56 AM

Originally Posted by JustAnotherBearsFan99

Rumor has it, that Mike Tice is developing a "Hester Package" that is run exclusively by monkeys (even the oline will be monkeys).

too late... Tice already implemented that

**JustAnotherBearsFan99** · 12-07-2012, 10:59 AM

Originally Posted by bearsinhouston

too late... Tice already implemented that

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