Mike Tice finds an UFA to be our franchise LT. It's all good now guys!

**JustAnotherBearsFan99** · 12-13-2012, 08:53 AM

I just hope they can get him ready for Sunday's Green Bay game. His name is "Bippo" and he's been a Ringling Brothers circus performer for several years. Tice assured the sports media yesterday that his skills will map perfectly to allow him to replace J'Marcus Webb.

They do need to find him a better helmet.

LINK to the article

The best thing about the deal is that Bippo will sign to work for bananas, so there is ZERO cap hit for this signing. The McCaskey's are looking into the possibility of building on Mike's idea, to sign a 53-man roster of circus monkeys to save money (Virginia reportedly was thrilled with the idea).

Emery has the entire personnel department's scouting staff, looking nationwide for enough circus monkeys to fill our roster.

Lovie is outraged with this idea. He said the monkeys poop on the locker room floor, and Bippo stole his challenge flag last night, and wouldn't give it up.

Toub, reportedly is depressed about the idea. He said the monkeys are impossible to train on special teams. When he tried to show Bippo how to kick a field goal, he ran up the goal post and pee'd (the monkey, not Toub).

Tice is thrilled with the idea.

He says this may end up being his best offensive line.
He says the monkeys seem more coachable (and remember the snap count better than Webb ever did).

If we beat the Packers on Sunday, that changes everything. Keep your spirits up.

**JustAnotherBearsFan99** · 12-13-2012, 09:04 AM

I was hoping this would lighten up our day. It got WAY too serious here yesterday. It was depressing

**JJ-30** · 12-13-2012, 10:03 AM

Damn you mead the story isn't real. Damn you kown how to hurt a fellwo poster. And the helmet is just fine there are no reports of monkeys getting concussions while playing football. That would have made Goodell happy also.

Originally Posted by JustAnotherBearsFan99

I was hoping this would lighten up our day. It got WAY too serious here yesterday. It was depressing

**bearsinhouston** · 12-13-2012, 10:30 AM

They can catch with their hands Or with their feet, right? That would give them twice the chance of our TE's. Sign them.

**JustAnotherBearsFan99** · 12-13-2012, 10:39 AM

Originally Posted by JJ-30

Damn you mead the story isn't real. Damn you kown how to hurt a fellwo poster. And the helmet is just fine there are no reports of monkeys getting concussions while playing football. That would have made Goodell happy also.

Goodell has been consulted by the McCaskeys, and reportedly is thrilled with the idea that this may catch on league-wide. No more player's union to dink with. And he said his favorite part of the circus was always the monkeys.

**Shark86x** · 12-13-2012, 11:07 AM

Now that's funny!

I have to ask though, this is Lovie outraged?

I'm not so sure.

Here's a photo of Lovie being concerned...

Here's one of him happy...

and here's one of him sad...

**JustAnotherBearsFan99** · 12-13-2012, 11:18 AM

He's most happy when he gets to throw the cool red flag.

**bearsinhouston** · 12-13-2012, 01:05 PM

You're right. He looks awake here.

Originally Posted by JustAnotherBearsFan99

He's most happy when he gets to throw the cool red flag.

**Shark86x** · 12-13-2012, 01:42 PM

Originally Posted by JJ-30

Damn you mead the story isn't real. Damn you kown how to hurt a fellwo poster. And the helmet is just fine there are no reports of monkeys getting concussions while playing football. That would have made Goodell happy also.

Best part was the link. I thought "link? This is a real news article?" So I clicked it and it linked back to this thread. Good April fools joke. I'm a sucker.

Regarding the soccer ball helmet, WebbNation isn't strong enough to rip that ball up into a helmet. That orangutan should take his place on the line. In fact, the 5 monkeys sitting in the tree must be what our o-line looks like to defenders. I'll photoshop something up for photo that later when I'm not here on company time.

**motownbear** · 12-13-2012, 01:57 PM

the monkey pissing has me rolling lmfao

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