A guy gets home late one night and his wife says,

"Where the hell have you been?"

"I was out getting a tattoo."

"A tattoo? What kind of tattoo did you get?"

"I got a hundred dollar bill on my penis."

"What the hell were you thinking?
Why did you get a hundred dollar bill on your penis?"

"Well, number one, I like to watch my money grow.
Number two, once in a while, I like to play with my money, and lastly,
instead of you going out shopping, you can stay home and blow a hundred bucks."