Ralph: Me fail English? That’s unpossible.

Lionel Hutz: This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.”

Nelson: Dad didn’t leave… When he comes back from the store, he’s going to wave those pop-tarts right in your face!

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel.

Mr. Burns: I’ll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Marge: Get ready, skanks! It’s time for the truth train!

Chief Wiggum: I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.

Troy McClure: Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!”

Apu: Please do not offer my god a peanut.

Nelson: Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark.

Bart: I didn’t think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows.

Comic Book Guy: Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.

Mr. Burns: Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There’s a *New* Mexico?

Ed Begley Jr.: I prefer a vehicle that doesn’t hurt Mother Earth. It’s a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction.

Barney: Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me!



The rest at 101 Greatest Simpsons Quotes | Blogzarro