http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports...0,94300.column Easy explanations for the Chicago Bears' silence
You probably have heard Bears general manager Jerry Angelo, coach
Lovie Smith and quarterback
Jay Cutler turned down an opportunity to talk with
Bob Costas for
NBC's Sunday night pregame show.
A team spokesman said the men just want to concentrate on beating the
Eagles. A noble explanation, to be sure, but a simplistic one that, in the end, doesn't satisfy.
Here are some possible other reasons
the Bears won't sit down with Costas before the game.
--They get off the bus shunning.
--They're worried Costas is going to tell the Eagles about the top-secret interceptions Cutler plans to throw Sunday night.
--Smith says he has opened up so much about his personal life in past interviews that he's "all talked out."
--The Bears looked to defensive line guru Rod Marinelli for guidance on the issue, and a twitch of one of his messianic eyebrows seemed to suggest they shouldn't talk with the NBC announcer.
--How many different ways can the Bears say, "Titanic, gigantic iceberg and can't swim"?
--They got wind that Costas is going to wear a
Tommie Harris-like nasal strip that says, "Eagles 28-7."
--Speaking of Harris, the Bears don't want Costas' face anywhere near the defensive tackle's fist.
--And speaking of Costas' face, the Bears are creeped out that he's starting to look way too much like
Dick Clark.
--They didn't like Costas' work as
the Bulls' play-by-play announcer on
WGN-TV during the 1979-80 season, specifically his lack of appreciation for guard Delmer Beshore.
--They're concerned Costas is going to ask Cutler deeply personal questions, such as, "What's up with losing to the
49ers?"
--They're concerned Cutler is going to answer, "Hey, you try winning with the wide receivers I've been given. Or the linemen. Or the running back."
--The Bears are worried Cutler will fire Angelo and Smith right there on national television.
--Angelo says the flap with NBC is one big misunderstanding. He says he will be happy to answer any questions, as long as they don't have to do with his draft record, any personnel matters or, come to think of it, the Bears.
--Rather than offer usual-suspects Smith, Angelo and Cutler for interviews with NBC, the Bears think it's time the nation gets to know the Devin Aromashodu story.
--Smith believes his refusal to talk to Costas sends a galvanizing message to his players that it's them against the world. By the way, the world is winning 31-3 at halftime.
--There is a deep level of concern inside Halas Hall that Costas is going to ask about the nationwide search for missing left tackle
Orlando Pace, thus compromising the sensitive investigation.
--The Bears are scared to death of getting the swine flu. On a related note, although Angelo and Smith deny there's a widening rift between them, the coach insists the real issue is H1 while the general manager is just as adamant the bigger problem is N1.
--Cutler is concerned he might break down and submit to Costas' request to run through his 10 worst facial expressions, beginning with the "you call that a No. 1 receiver?" look.
--Smith isn't sure he will be able to resist the urge to sacrifice offensive coordinator Ron Turner on a funeral pyre in front of 20 million viewers.
--The Bears are worried Costas has explosive information linking the Cover-2 defense with cancer in lab rats.
--Nothing says "bad prime-time ratings" like an in-depth discussion on red-zone problems.
--Cutler is very concerned
Dan Grossman is going to show up and blame Costas for
Rex Grossman's problems in Chicago.
--As much as the Bears want to tell the world that there are hair-loss sprays that would provide a better playing surface than the sparse
Soldier Field grass, Smith is worried NBC is going to ask him about the bald truth: that his team looks hopelessly lost.
--Cutler thinks he will become violently ill if he has to answer one more question about night games, interceptions, Josh McDaniels, diabetes and anything else that might indicate that, you know, things aren't going well for him.
--By their silence, the Bears plan to let everyone know the media are their biggest problem, not the ineffective defense or the poor running game or the fact Cutler is close to getting his head knocked off or the lack of preparedness or ...
--Two ominous words: stage fright.
Linear Mode
