LMFAO!!!! Jones-Drew is called out by fantasy gurus over his injuries and gets pissed!
Mon Aug 15 01:02am EDT
Maurice Jones-Drew returns to practice, calls out fantasy gurus
By Andy Behrens
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Hopefully we can all agree that it takes a very brave man to challenge a fantasy expert, at anything. But to challenge the entire global community of fantasy experts? Well, that's madness.
You want a piece of this guy? Don't think so.
Or this little spitfire? Hells no.
Or this stone-cold fantasy gang—
OK, bad example, because you might actually want to fight him.
But I think you get the point: Fantasy experts are some bad dudes, generally speaking, and you DO NOT want to mess with us. I will roll my 20-sided die and take all your hit points and won't even need to touch my asthma inhaler, [expletive].
So it just seems crazy for Maurice Jones-Drew(notes) to call us out because he happened to have a pain-free practice this weekend:
"Pretty much every reporter, 'Will he be back, is it possible to come back and do what he's done?''' Jones-Drew said. "A lot of fantasy football gurus who have never stepped on the field before or ever been in the locker room, they know the best about football."OK, whatever. I was dominating Coleco at recess in '82, way before MJD was born, so he cannot question my fake football credentials.
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You'll recall that Jones-Drew played with a meniscus injury for 14 games in 2010 — exiting in the fantasy playoffs, thankyouverymuch — and his recovery remains one of the league's key preseason storylines. The man topped 1,300 rushing yards in each of the past two seasons and he's averaged 12 touchdowns per year throughout his career. A healthy MJD would be a top-five pick in any league, no question. Injury worries have bumped him down the draft board this season, but he'll obviously climb if the practice reports remain positive.
The other small concern with Jones-Drew is the presence of Rashad Jennings(notes), an essential fantasy handcuff, a third-year back who impressed last year in a supporting role (5.5 YPC, 4 TDs). Jennings is a decent bet for 80-plus carries in 2011, even if MJD plays the full 16.
But in any case, there's no need for Jones-Drew to be so hostile toward gurus. We've had some sweet times together — it was a stress-free relationship until he took the knee in '09. Come back to us, MJD, and we'll return to you.
Unless of course there's even a whisper of knee irritation over the next few weeks, because if that happens you'll be so far outside the circle of trust you'll think you're Willie Parker(notes). No joke. Don't push us.
Photo via US Presswire