Thread: Reailty Scores a Hit; Packers Abdicate NFCN Throne, Bears Just Too Tough...

In a surprising pre-season, pre-camp article published yesterday in the weekly Cheesemaker supplement of the Green Bay Press-Gazette and Sheep Husbandry Journal, Packers Head Coach Mike McCarthy announced that the Green and Gold have asked the NFL to cancel both 2012 games with their long time rivals the Chicago Bears.

Coach McCarthy was quoted as saying, "They have an offense now and by God we were barely able to beat them when they didn't. We just feel that now it will be impossible to do so. For the sake of salvaging the rest of our season and to spare our players the damage that two embarrassing losses will do to their already fragile psyche's we've just sent a telegram to the NFL offices in New York informing them of our desire to forfeit both contests ahead of time. Those guys are gonna be just too tough to beat and we only want to play teams we know we can win against."

The Packers have also asked that the Giants be eliminated from their schedule until 2034.

It's expected that the NFL will reschedule those weeks for the Packers either with games against Miami and Arizona or with two more NFCN games against the Lions and the Vikings. Word out of Green Bay is that the Packers prefer playing Miami and Arizona since they're not even sure they're good enough to beat the Vikings and Lions more than once this year and will only play them a third time if those games are played in Lameblow Field where homer officiating is usually the norm.

In other Packer news it's been rumored that Packer GM Ted Thompson was seen meeting last evening in the bar of Kroll's Restaurant with former Packer great Brett Favre in an attempt to induce the future HOF QB to un-retire one more time and lead the Pack back to their former glory.

Ted was overheard telling Brett that he just didn't feel that Aaron Rodgers and his guys had what it takes to overcome the Bears offseason resurgence and in the event the NFL won't reschedule those Bears games the services of that "Bears Killer" of old may be needed.

"There's $25 mil for one year in it for you and you don't even have to show up for camp or throw one ball during the preseason if you don't want to. Aaron and his backups can handle that for you. We just want you to play the Bears games for us if the NFL won't cancel them like we asked them to and you know, maybe show young Aaron how it's done."

"Between those Bears games you can take a rest, grab some pine and flash your pecker at Erin Andrews on the sidelines for all we care but we're desperate Brett and this is a very solid offer." "So get back to me on this as soon as possible OK?"

I swear to God it went down just this way.