Bears sign a long snapper

Discussion in 'Chicago Bears' started by BSBEARS, Apr 7, 2014.

  1. billatter

    billatter Veteran

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    Motto of the CFL: "We have bigger balls." Used to be able to get t-shrts with that on it.
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  2. Bearsinhouston

    Bearsinhouston Hall of Famer

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    Damn... I want one of those! I mean a pair! no... the shirt I mean....
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  3. dachuckster

    dachuckster Veteran SuperFan

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  4. JustAnotherBearsFan99

    JustAnotherBearsFan99 Coordinator SuperFan DBS Writer

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    Well maybe this is good news. Some of us were worried about him only weighing 214 pounds. He seemed a bit light for a long snapper. Will the fact that he is bigger in this other area off-set this a bit? Does this benefit a long snapper?
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  5. billatter

    billatter Veteran

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    Lower centre of gravity . . . better follow through (the swing is the thing) . . . holding the football feels very familiar, therefore high comfort level. And don't forget the intimidation factor.
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  6. Bearsinhouston

    Bearsinhouston Hall of Famer

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  7. billatter

    billatter Veteran

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    and to think that used to be the official CFL slogan and CFL TV commercial -- seriously.
  8. Bearsinhouston

    Bearsinhouston Hall of Famer

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    So then, with the new data that I just picked up on in regards to the larger (and JMO possibly genetically altered ball size on CFL players), the end result is that we picked up a long snapper with large balls. Soul is going to have a field day with this...
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  9. TarheelBear

    TarheelBear Rookie

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    Just longsnapper camp body if nothing else but eventually we have move on rather it be sooner than later. Mannely was the man but it's long snapper lets not get too excited. best man wins the job either way Phil certainly had busy off season bring on the draft.
  10. Ojibway Bob

    Ojibway Bob Veteran SuperFan

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    Hahah Us Canadians are cool with our long saggy balls!!!!!!
  11. Bearsinhouston

    Bearsinhouston Hall of Famer

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    Yeah, well may your next toilet be filled with cold Canadian water. That'll wake up those saggy balls once you sit down to take a shit!!!
  12. Ojibway Bob

    Ojibway Bob Veteran SuperFan

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    Up here we dont have time to sit and shit....we do everything as quick as possible so we squat where we stop.....It is really amazing that our streets are so clean, must be all the fibre we are drink in our smoothies mix that with all our snow, our genetically enhanced poop actually cleans the walkways and roads:10 5 135[1]:
  13. Bearsinhouston

    Bearsinhouston Hall of Famer

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    DAMMMNNNNN!!!!!! Now that's what I call roughing it! How do you deal with those saggy balls being dragged over the fresh shit as you walk by?! Or is that how the streets stay clean? :-) Now I know how those companies that sell ball washers to the driving ranges stay in business!!! Most of their production goes north!! Of course I realize you guys only buy their jumbo ball washers -- the same as they normally sell to the bowling alleys I'm sure! We need more emoticons!!!!!!!

    As an aside, Is anyone old enough to remember the DISCO KIT that Larry Lujack had on the air (WLS) years ago on his Uncle Lar and Lil Tommy Animal Story time? It was hillarious and relevant here. Another one of those true stories that make you wonder why fiction is even necessary in this world. People do enough stupid stuff in real life not to have to make stuff up. You actually probably could not even make some of this stuff up! I want to see if anyone remembers this before I spill the beans. I laughed my ass off when I heard that story.
  14. Ojibway Bob

    Ojibway Bob Veteran SuperFan

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  15. Bearsinhouston

    Bearsinhouston Hall of Famer

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    Bob:

    LOLLOLOLOL!!!! I just realized your avatar is exactly what we talked about. it should be the official CFL avatar!!!!!
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  16. soulman

    soulman Pro-Bowler SuperFan DBS Writer

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    [​IMG]

    That may be true but AC/DC has the biggest balls of all.






    Big Balls Lyrics - AC/DC

    Well I'm ever upper-class high society
    God's gift to ballroom notoriety
    And I always fill my ballroom
    The event is never small
    The social pages say I've got
    The biggest balls of all

    I've got big balls
    I've got big balls
    They're such big balls
    And they're dirty big balls
    And he's got big balls
    And she's got big balls
    But we've got the biggest balls of them all

    And my balls are always bouncing
    And my ballroom always full
    And everybody cums and cums again
    If your name is on the guest list
    No one can take you higher
    Everybody says I've got
    Great balls of fire

    I've got big balls
    Oh, I've got big balls
    And they're such big balls
    Dirty big balls
    And he's got big balls
    And she's got big balls
    But we've got the biggest balls of them all

    Some balls are held for charity
    And some for fancy dress
    But when they're held for pleasure
    They're the balls that I like best
    My balls are always bouncing
    To the left and to the right
    It's my belief that my big balls
    Should be held every night

    Oh, we've got big balls
    We've got big balls
    We've got big balls
    Dirty big balls
    He's got big balls
    She's got big balls
    But we've got the biggest balls of them all
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  17. soulman

    soulman Pro-Bowler SuperFan DBS Writer

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    Over 50 posts on a north of the border long snapper. This is getting to be a long offseason. Whew!
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  18. shark86x

    shark86x Pro-Bowler SuperFan

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    The big hefty hickory smoked sausage? Is that the one he hypnotized Tommy to be a sex-changed cheap bleached blonde floozy to see if "she" went after John Travolta or the Disco kit? Man, it's surprising how those long lost memories can come flooding back.
  19. Bearsinhouston

    Bearsinhouston Hall of Famer

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    Well, that "Disco Kit" skit is actually the aftermath of the actual initial story which I have not been able to find. But I still remember it. Paramedics were called at some disco (I think they mentioned the city in the disco kit bit) because a guy had passed out while dancing. Apparently, the guy had on pants so tight that he could hardly breathe and it caused him to pass out. When the paramedics arrived, they cut his pants in order to relieve some of the tightness. What they saw was a sausage duct taped to his thigh and some socks stuffed into his crotch area. The only thing is that the way those guys delivered it... all I can say was that I was in tears. I would LOVE to find a way to get that cut on tape or something.

    Anyway, that listener on the cut you heard put together a "disco kit" to commemorate the initial creative thinker that fainted on the dance floor (and I presume had to face the embarrasment of waking up to his pants cut open and his "chick magnet" exposed). So what you heard was the follow -up to the original. When the guy sent Lil Tommy and Uncle Lar the disco kit that he put together. Still funny the way they deliver it, but the initial story was a real classic!!!!

    Anyone else remember it, other than me?
  20. JustAnotherBearsFan99

    JustAnotherBearsFan99 Coordinator SuperFan DBS Writer

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    Gotta love the off-season threads here on the messageboard :-)
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