Bears sign a long snapper

Discussion in 'Chicago Bears' started by BSBEARS, Apr 7, 2014.

  1. Bearsinhouston

    Bearsinhouston Position Coach

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    Well, all I can say is that I hope the lab technicians don't ever get the cell cultures mixed up or someone is going to have to spread their legs to breath. And that is the lucky one. The other one ... well... even I won't go there....
  2. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    In 1938 a women had vaginal lips that were so large that she could use them to flap as wings and fly.

    This was the inspiration of Walt Disney's movie about Dumbo the flying elephant.

    After WWII reports came in of flying saucers ... Dumbo ? Vaginas ?

    But answer me this and the CIA will never acknowledge this:

    Why were American womans snapping gyros hitting speeds in excess of 850 mph ...

    BEFORE the sound barrier was broken ??
  3. soulman

    soulman Pro-Bowler SuperFan DBS Writer

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    Or sneeze.
  4. soulman

    soulman Pro-Bowler SuperFan DBS Writer

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    We better put this little detour and maybe the whole thread to rest. If I was still on the staff I think I'd lock it before we go really overboard. We do have some female members who post in this forum and I don't want to disrespect them or their feelings.
  5. Bearsinhouston

    Bearsinhouston Position Coach

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    lol
  6. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    Hey its pre draft and we are having laffs.

    Anytime we are having a good time is the wrong time to decide everybodys fate based upon one persons point of view.
  7. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    A lesbian walks into a bar with a lesbian and a duck on her shoulders ...

    the lesbian sez to the bartender :

    Your punchline HERE !
  8. soulman

    soulman Pro-Bowler SuperFan DBS Writer

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    Just being cognizant of the other half jackie. Nothing wrong with the jokes but some of the stuff that might make for a great round table discussion for a group of gynecologists may be a little offensive to some. By all means carry on but with some restraint.
  9. soulman

    soulman Pro-Bowler SuperFan DBS Writer

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    Can I get a bowl of "clam" chowder for my quacker.
  10. Ojibway Bob

    Ojibway Bob Veteran SuperFan

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    Who here outta tha guys likes a good little pinky( not a baby mouse) in their butt?

    There Soul...made a comment for our lovely Lady readers to be part of and targeted us Males as Quasiregular mammals that can be made fun of......
    This was in no means a "poke" at our gay male readers either ( not sure I intended a comedic pun, just our my mind works at times)

    Discuss now
  11. soulman

    soulman Pro-Bowler SuperFan DBS Writer

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    I can't Bob. I'm still blown away by that running penis. (no pun intended)

    Being chased by that is about the worst nightmare a heterosexual could imagine. :7 11 1[1]:
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  12. Bearsinhouston

    Bearsinhouston Position Coach

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    Only if you get caught...
    If it got you, I guess you have to punch it in the um... head
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  13. Ojibway Bob

    Ojibway Bob Veteran SuperFan

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  14. Bearsinhouston

    Bearsinhouston Position Coach

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    We have a squirter!!!
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  15. soulman

    soulman Pro-Bowler SuperFan DBS Writer

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    Not me brother. I'd throw a large black tarp over him to blind him then run in the direction of the docks and the nearest fishing boat I could find. Kind of confuse him and throw him off track you know.
  16. Bearsinhouston

    Bearsinhouston Position Coach

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    If you mean Pinky Tuscadero, I'd be open (pun absolutely intended) to that.
  17. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    JJ's penis had such an erection one time , that it went on a journey across AMERICA ,while still attached in California ,

    the first stop on the penis' outlook was Salt Lake City , where kids rode it as an amusement ride.

    Later in Denver it helped to pass legislation about women wearing bras in public.

    In Omaha JJ's penis cemented the deal between Union Pacific and Chicago North Western.

    Traviling on JJ's penis was resposible for Dunkin Donuts and Deep Dish Pizza in Chicago.

    Upon arriving on the east coast ... the massive penis could not be ignored extending back to California ...

    certain members of a New York City rock band saw this ... and thus was born KISS !

    Although the remains of the once massive erection are still there from ejected sperm and people follow it as a destination to get to , the original erection shrunk back into JJ years ago.

    Which can still be viewed with VISA and MASTERCARD.

    Vice President DIck Cheny summed it up best : "If we had this penis in Iraq in 2003... it would have been over in 45 minutes."
  18. Bearsinhouston

    Bearsinhouston Position Coach

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    I always wondered who they got to pock the holes in all the doughnuts....
  19. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    If called upon to serve for the good of the Nation ... JJ's penis was always there.

    Laying the routes that trailblazed this great Nation of ours.
  20. Bearsinhouston

    Bearsinhouston Position Coach

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    Well, I'm going to still buy Dunkin Doughnuts, but in light of this, I'm going to stay away from the cream filled ones.

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