Enough already with cuddly Bears mascot

Discussion in 'Chicago Bears' started by The Benjamin, Jul 22, 2014.

  1. The Benjamin

    The Benjamin George Halas Staff Member

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    By Mike Imrem
    Mon, 21 Jul 2014 19:53:51 -0400

    Mon, 21 Jul 2014 19:53:51 -0400
    Amid all the Bears' personnel changes, an important one wasn't made at a critical position.

    With training camp scheduled to start this week, Staley remains the team mascot.

    (Stop snickering; this is serious business.)

    A recent story out of Cleveland should have received more attention around here.

    No, not that King James going-back-home thing. No, not something like Johnny Football belching on a bouncer.

    The news was that the Browns might install a live mastiff dog named Swagger as mascot to complement fans in the infamous Dawg Pound at home games.

    The Browns clearly want to project an image that better reflects that they want to play hard, aggressive, physical football.

    Hard to believe, but the Bears could take a lesson from the Browns, of all teams.

    Forgive me, PETA, forgive me for I have sinned: My cheap thrill, guilty pleasure and not-so-nice vice would be a live bear as the Bears' mascot.

    Dangerous? Heck, during my restless and reckless days I went to the mat twice with Victor the Wrestling Bear and lived to tell about it.

    If Vic is still around, the Bears might want to interview him for job of mascot.

    Staley -- a dead bear, uh, live person in a hot, sweaty bear costume -- currently represents the Bears.

    He, she or it stands for two things: first, the Decatur starch company that the franchise originally was named after; second, a mascot unworthy of wearing a Bears jersey.

    Staley is a harmless lowercase bear unbecoming of a franchise whose tradition is as harmful Monsters of the Midway.

    The McCaskey ownership sometimes seems intent on distancing the Bears from their history as a rough, tough football mob, uh, team.

    Bookish head coaches are hired. One of them was even named Lovie. He had a defense that never reminded anyone of a Bearish system like the "46." They don't have guys with nicknames like Mongo, Danimal and Samurai anymore.

    The Bears have gone soft in a brutal, barbaric, violent sport. Trying to turn game days into Sesame Street is like trying to turn a stripper into a librarian.

    More than anything, the NFL is large men smacking larger men so hard that blood and guts come flying out of them.

    If the Bears want this to be Six Flags, let your kids watch at their own risk. They might be concussed by osmosis.

    Staley's purpose is to entertain children -- perhaps children of all ages -- as if Soldier Field were Medieval Times.

    Colleges have more imposing mascots, like Ralphie the Buffalo at Colorado and UGA the Bulldog at Georgia.

    If it were my call, the Bears' mascot would be a Monster or collection of Monsters of the Midway. You know, perhaps something called Godzillakong or Draculenstein.

    Short of that, how about one real menacing bear running loose around the stadium? OK, maybe not loose, but on a long leash. OK, maybe not loose or on a leash, but in a steel cage.

    If he scares little kids, so be it. They'll get over it and grow up to be hardened Bears fans, not a generation of wimps like has been cultivated lately.

    Name the bear something more frightening than a box of starch. One suggestion would be to replace "Staley" with "Butka" in honor of two former Bears you might be familiar with.

    (Stop it, folks. The Bears can't put Dick Butkus and Mike Ditka in a cage, wheel them around Soldier Field and encourage them taunt the current edition of alleged NFL tough guys.)

    As much as Staley is a mascot peeve of mine, a compromise is possible.

    Staley can stay if the McCaskeys revive the Honey Bears adult-entertainment cheerleader squad.

    mimrem@dailyherald.com
  2. shark86x

    shark86x Pro-Bowler SuperFan

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    I don't think he's cute and cuddly, but he could be a lot meaner looking. A live bear? not gonna happen, even in a cage.


    [​IMG][​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    Unless he's talking about this version of Staly with the real Honeybears...


    upload_2014-7-22_11-2-12.jpeg
  3. riczaj01

    riczaj01 DaBears Ditka DBS Writer

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    The one w/the Honeybears doesn't even look like a Bear, looks like some kind of weird bear/monkey hybrid.
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2014
    • Bear Down! Bear Down! x 1
  4. Ski-Whiz

    Ski-Whiz George Halas Staff Member

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    [​IMG][​IMG]


    They look the same to me...
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  5. riczaj01

    riczaj01 DaBears Ditka DBS Writer

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    Only difference is Fozzy looks like quality work and the Chicago Bear looks like something from a small store doors now opened festival.
    • Bear Down! Bear Down! x 1
  6. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    WE WANT TITS AND ASS!
    WE WANT TITS AND ASS!
    WE WANT TITS AND ASS!
    WE WANT TITS AND ASS!
    WE WANT TITS AND ASS!
    WE WANT TITS AND ASS!
    WE WANT TITS AND ASS!
    WE WANT TITS AND ASS!

    BRING BACK THE HUNNY BEARS!!

    If we are behind 47-20 with 4 minutes left in the fourth quarter,

    at least give us some well definded camel toes to take away the misery.
    • Bear Down! Bear Down! x 1
  7. soulman

    soulman Pro-Bowler SuperFan DBS Writer

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    Well now this Staley does look like a pussy.....................

    [​IMG]

    ............but not this one.

    [​IMG]

    OK, new NFL rule. All NFL teams must have mascots more representative of their toughness as NFL teams.

    Jets; a flyover by F16s with live missiles and smart bombs to drop on the oppositions bench.

    Redskins; 100 Souix warriors armed with bows/arrows and lances with the right to point and shoot at any Washington DC politician who thinks they should change their nickname.

    Lions, Bengals, Jaguars, and Panthers; free big game hunting safari for some lucky season ticket holder.

    Vikings; a murderous horde of blonde savages who attack after every opponent score. NFL teams can expand their rosters to 90 for road games in Minny.

    Bucs and Raiders; Somali pirates dressed in team colors.

    Dolphins; a great white shark disguised as a bottle nose dolphin for the fans to pet and feed........oops sorry about that arm!

    Patriots; a musket bearing militia made up of NRA supporters who can shoot the opposing QB in self defense.

    Packers; a murderous band of butchers with meat cleavers in Michael Myers masks.

    Cowboys; Jerry Jones in drag. That's about as scary as it comes don't cha think?


    I could go on but you all get the idea right? :smilebig:
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2014
  8. Ski-Whiz

    Ski-Whiz George Halas Staff Member

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  9. Ski-Whiz

    Ski-Whiz George Halas Staff Member

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    Here's a short video of Staley warming up for a game:

    [​IMG]


    Staley Bear after the blown coverage against the Packers last year:

    [​IMG]
    • Funny Funny x 1
  10. soulman

    soulman Pro-Bowler SuperFan DBS Writer

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    LOL, Fozzie does a facepalm.
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  11. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    Ahem ... you DONT want TITS and ASS?

    CHICAGO BEARS fans debating fucking Teddy Bears?

    I tried ... theres people of different sexual cultures on this board and all should be embraced.

    But DAMN dude !!
  12. Ski-Whiz

    Ski-Whiz George Halas Staff Member

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    :bah:

    With the issues and Cheerleaders, I don't see us getting them even if Virginia died tomorrow.

    Honestly though, I feel that they are getting screwed over. They don't make shit, and are over worked. Yet they represent the team?

    Cheerleaders are pretty much the only intellectual property the NFL and teams don't care about. It's a shame.

    They probably spend more money on the t-shirt guns and t-shirts, than they do on cheerleaders.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  13. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    Goddammi Ski,

    Just the HUNNY BEARS back ... thats a moral boost.

    If they came out on the field ... you cant tell me that isnt going to make a difference.

    We need em back. Yep, BEARS fans think about SEX!

    Why are we one of the few teams in the NFL being neutered?


    Definition of neuter (vt)

    • neu·ter
    • [ nóotər ]
    1. remove testicles or ovaries of animal: to remove the testicles or ovaries of an animal
    2. without sex organs: having undeveloped, nonfunctioning, or no sexual organs
    3. not indicating sex or other characteristics: not indicating the sex of a person, the qualities of a thing, or an attitude toward somebody or something
    GO YOU CHICAGO BEARS !!

    GIVE US OUR BALLS BACK !!!

  14. Ski-Whiz

    Ski-Whiz George Halas Staff Member

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    I thought this thread was about Staley Bears and mascots?

    Godmammit, I'm lost! lol
  15. soulman

    soulman Pro-Bowler SuperFan DBS Writer

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    Sorry jackie but I gotta pitch in with Ski here and say no matter what we think or believe a bunch of T & A HoneyBears ain't gonna happen. Not while Ginny McCaskey is alive and out of respect for her not after she's gone for as long as George is in charge of this team.

    I figure we're all good enough posters to get our ration of that over in The Bar Scene. Besides I kinda like the "girl next door" dressed in her Bears gear better than the bottled and canned approach they put on the field on Sundays. They're far more real.

    I've met a few former Bronco Cheerleaders and if it wasn't for the exposure (no pun intended) they get that can help them with their modeling careers many of them wouldn't even consider it. They work their butts off (second pun not intended) for slave wages and in effect they are almost like slaves with all of the team rules they have to comply with.

    For a few one season is enough and if that doesn't get them a leg up for modeling or an engagement ring from a Bronco player (second biggest motivation I'm told) then they quickly become former Bronco Cheerleaders. Some stick around for a while but much like players when they're used up or gain a little weight they're gone and without anywhere near the severance pay a player gets.

    How'd you like to be this one who was subject to some speculation about which one she was based solely on this shot on the right which could have easily been a porn film feature if not for her costume. LOL I get a kick out of the write up.

    The investigation was centered on a couple of things; her face (jaw structure and hairline). WOW! It must have taken some powerful Xray vision to see through her ass to get to all the way to that. :perv2: :rofl2:


    [​IMG]

    It appears a BC reader named Ryan has come up with the tip that broke open the case of what Broncos cheerleader was bent over during last night’s game on NBC.
    It seems that the bent over cheerleader was Tara B. (@DBC_Tara), one of the team captains.

    The investigation centered on a couple things: her face (jaw structure) and hairline. If you’re new to BC, just know that we’ll go to great lengths to solve investigations.

    I’ve now watched the video at least 35 times and am 99.9% certain this is Tara. I’m not sure what this really means to you, but some of you challenged BC to find her name. It’s just what we do. :bah:
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  16. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    It IS about Staley Bears and mascots.

    Which Staley Bears and which mascots ?

    Is that an underlying term ?

    Lets think about this for a second ...

    HUNNY BEARS holding teddy bears on the sidelines.

    Is everybody happy ? Havent all directions of democracy been achieved ?

    Foxy babes holding teddy bears at Soldiers ...

    yeah like Im going to walk from that routine.

    Could you come over in front of my seats and do the motion bend over?

    Thank you. That one didnt shave all the way.
  17. Ski-Whiz

    Ski-Whiz George Halas Staff Member

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    Yeah, but you can have BOTH...

    [​IMG][​IMG]

    Hunny and Staley did and can co-exist..

    Guess that's where the confusion is?
  18. soulman

    soulman Pro-Bowler SuperFan DBS Writer

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    You really do have Xray vision don't you? :eek:

    And fuck the teddy bears. If they need something to hold I'll volunteer. I'm available on short notice and I work cheap.
  19. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    Its dinner time ! Its supper time!

    What do THE CHICAGO BEARS bring to the FEAST ?

    There better be a TEAM there goddammit.

    I dont give a fuck whose name is on the roster in finallity.

    It better be 53 of the best.

    NOW LETS GET IT AWN IN TRAINING CAMP !!
  20. Bearstuff

    Bearstuff Yes, in the woods. Staff Member SuperFan

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    I would love to have the live bear and think it would go over really well. Of course, we would have to hire a designated scooper, because there isn't any woods close to Soldier Field.
    • Funny Funny x 1

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