This -N- That

Discussion in 'Chicago Bears' started by jackiejokeman, May 14, 2014.

  1. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    What the CHICAGO BEARS should be listening to in Training Camp ...





  2. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    The NFL regular season is rapidly approaching. This weekend, the NFL will be back with the start of the preseason and from there we are just one month away from meaningful football returning to our televisions.

    With the start of the season just around the corner, the oddsmakers in Las Vegas have been handicapping the field and releasing the estimated win total for each and every team in the league.

    “NFL win totals continues to take more money than any other future market we have up right now for the NFL and a few teams are really standing out as popular bets.

    The Chicago Bears over 8.5 has taken over 95 percent of the money but we are comfortable holding the number at 8.5, especially in a pretty competitive division,” said Kevin Bradley, Sportsbook Manager, Bovada.lv.

    “The Saints and Patriots are seeing the same type of action forcing each of their win totals to move up half a win.

    The two teams who have caught my eye taking quite a bit of under money is the Dallas Cowboys dropping from 8 to 7.5 wins and the Carolina Panthers with 80 percent of the public expecting them to regress from their surprising year in 2013.”
  3. shark86x

    shark86x Pro-Bowler SuperFan

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    Not that Metal Church is a great band, but I love the title of the song "Merciless Onslaught". THAT should be the Bears anthem.
  4. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    Here ya go Sharkbox!



    It should be noted also that 95% of the action in Vegas is gearing towards CHICAGO BEARS on the over and under.
  5. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    Hey Soul check this out as a Johhny Winter followup,

    in addition to the Gibson Firebird Johhny also played a

    Fender Electric XII ... a 12 string electric guitar.

    Looks similer to the Firebird.
  6. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    This guy walks into an open air skyscraper bar at the top of the building in downtown Manhattan,

    and orders a drink at the bar ...

    the guy seated next to him says : "You know if you jump off this skyscraper you will never fall because the wind currents will blow you right back to where you started because of the wind currents swirling around the skyscrapers."

    The man replys : "Thats BS , if you jump off this building you will fall straight down !"

    The guy replys : "Nope I will prove it to you."

    The guy goes over to the edge of the roof and jumps off ...

    like magic he reappears back where he started !

    The man replys ; "Thats amazing!"

    The guy says to him : "I'll bet you $50.00 dollars you dont have the guts to do what I just did."

    The man seeing how the guy just did it took him up on his bet ....

    "OK heres fifty dollars and the bartender holds the bet !"

    The man walks over to the ledge and jumps off ...

    weaoooooo ...SPLAT !!

    As the guy goes to the bar to collect his bet, the bartender says to him:

    "You know SUPERMAN ... youve got a fucked up sense of humor."
  7. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    A board time out for some CHICAGO BEARS training camp music.

  8. soulman

    soulman Pro-Bowler SuperFan DBS Writer

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    I don't know about a Bears theme song but here's one for the fans.

  9. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    Soul,

    Dont get me started on ZZ Top ... please dont ...:002:

    I wonder how the guy got away with using all of that Hells Angels image without being sued by them ?

    For a split second at the beginning of the vid the Hells Angels logo flashes,

    and thats trademarked and they want money for showing that.

    Anybody ever make a vid about Outlaws ? Bandidos? Pagans? ...etc.?

    Watched the Barrett Jackson auction from Reno Nev.,

    Corvette-Camaro-Mustang-Mopar ruled.

    The best was a 1932 Ford Coupe with a blown 6-71 GMC supercharger sitting on top of a 426 HEMI.

    Sold for $100 000.00
  10. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    This is the big ticket number we've all been waiting for ...

    can ten of you send me $10.60 each so I can file the fee? ($106.00) Thanx!
    ____________________________________________________

    Attn: Beneficiary

    There is an issue involving ( $2.5 Million united state dollars ) which was called to to the knowledge of our Bank ( AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK PLC ) from the Federal Ministry OF Finance Nigeria concerning your outstanding payment of ( $2.5 Million United States Dollars ) The fund has been released and forwarded to our Western Union Money Transfer department and an instruction was passed to us directly from the Federal Ministry Of Finance new boss (Dr. Ali Urma) we were asked to start sending your fund install-mentally at the rate of $10,000 per day through our western union money transfer. This means that you will be receiving $5,000 twice per a day in two different MTCN until your total ( $2.5 Million united state dollars ) is completely transferred to you.

    Today, our bank has effected some process of your your first payment of $5000 through western union now you have to Contact us immediately with the required $105 processing fee and the information requested below so that we will know where to send your first transfer to and then release your first payment MTCN to you, Secondly note that you don't have to pay anything more than the needed $105 for the signing of the International Remittance File. The only money requested from you is ( $105 dollars ) and that is for the barrister that will sign the file on your behalf since you are not here. Right now we are only waiting for your email or call so that we will instruct you on where to send the $105 immediately so that you will start receiving your funds with out any further delay, Here are the details required from you, send it to the below email:

    Contact Person: MR. VITUS UCHE
    Email: wesunimontra@informaticos.com
    Tel; +229-6812-9682

    Your Receiver Name..........(Where you want us to send the transfer)
    Private Telephone;....................
    Country..............
    Text Question...............
    Answer...................

    We await your update with the $105 and the above information's so that we will start transferring your funds to you.

    Yours in Service.

    DR ALFRED NNA
    ____________________________________________________

    Fuckin DR Alfred Nna,

    Pulled a tooth on a friend of mine and did an abortion on a chick I knew.

    Totally trustworthy
  11. soulman

    soulman Pro-Bowler SuperFan DBS Writer

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    Tell him you want the funds sent via an American Express Money order to a PO box and that they can just subtract the $105 from the first payment to pay off the barrister and then the subtract postage and money order fees from all subsequent payments. That makes 'em go away pretty fast.

    How in the blue hell do you keep getting these things all the time. Most of us have been crossed off their list as not being dumb enough to fall for anything coming out of Nigeria. Are you actually encouraging those bandits? They should use this bunch to experiment on a cure for Ebola.

    Every time I sell a piece of my gear on Craigslist I get at least one response from a guy whose either just leaving the country for an extended work assignment or who works on an offshore drilling platform who wants to buy my "Item" as a gift for his ________ (fill in the blank). As soon as I give him my info he'll send certified funds plus to cover it and have his agent pick it up.

    The last one said it was for his son so I just asked him to send "sonny" over with a US Postal Money Order for the purchase price and to have him meet me at my local US Postal Station. As soon as I cashed the money order I'd had the "Item" over to "sonny". What's the email equivalent of that click you hear when someone hangs up on you? :bah:
  12. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    Soulman,

    Comedy is always funny! No matter where you find it.

    You want comedy ? I love a CHICAGO BEARS team.
  13. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    We earned this one beating Philly ... a victory song ... about CATS !

    Next up : Jaguars. Hey you dont get to take next week off.

  14. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    One day, a very gentle and elderly Wisconsin lady was driving across the high bridge in Green Bay.

    As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man ready to jump.

    She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, "Please don't jump! Think of your dear mother and father!!

    He replied, "My mom and dad are both dead; I'm going to jump."

    She said, "Well, think of your sweet wife and precious children."

    He replied, "I'm not married, and I don't have any kids."

    She said, "Well, then you just remember Vince Lombardi, the Green Bay Packers and the Wisconsin Badgers."

    He replied, ''Why ? I am a Chicago Bears fan.

    She replied, ‘’Well, bless your heart!

    You just go ahead and jump you little Bastard... You’re holding up traffic !”
  15. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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  16. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    R.I.P. Robin Williams
  17. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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  18. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    So Conte slipped on green grass and the first to boo was a kid,

    Offseason BEARS fans with too many Carling Black Labels and too many black beautys reacted accordingly at Bearbounnais.

    But heres what Conte was thinking :

  19. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    NFL Scouts Talk Anonymously About NFC North Teams

    By Athlon Sports, 8/15/14, 9:45 AM EDT

    Scouts analyze the Bears, Lions, Packers and Vikings

    Historically known as the domain of defenses like the Monsters of the Midway and the Purple People Eaters, the NFC North may be changing its image.

    Now home to Aaron Rodgers, Matthew Stafford and Jay Cutler and a host of explosive playmakers, the division boasted three of the NFL’s top offenses in 2013.

    The Packers have been the top dog the past three seasons and are considered the favorites again this year. But both the Bears and Lions are hoping offseason changes will allow them to close the gap. And then there’s Minnesota, which has the best running back in the league in Adrian Peterson and is hoping it drafted its next franchise quarterback in Teddy Bridgewater.

    In order to get an accurate assessment of how the four NFC North teams are shaping up heading into the 2014 season, Athlon asked NFL scouts to talk anonymously about the Bears, Lions, Packers and Vikings.

    Note: These scouting reports come directly from NFL scouts and do not necessarily reflect the views of Athlon's editorial staff.

    Chicago Bears

    “The Bears saw the results of hiring offensive-minded Marc Trestman when Jay Cutler was having a productive year before a series of injuries occurred and Josh McCown stepped in and actually played even more efficiently.” …

    “Chicago has an excellent set of offensive skill players with Brandon Marshall and Alshon Jeffery on the outside with Martellus Bennett at TE and Matt Forté in the backfield.” …

    “Their line got a huge boost from rookies Kyle Long and Jordan Mills after they had signed Jermon Bushrod in free agency.” …

    “If they can get any sort of improvement from the defense, the Bears should compete for NFC honors. Defensive coordinator Mel Tucker is well respected around the league, but in all honesty, his statistics at Cleveland, Jacksonville and last year, have left some wondering about his future as a potential NFL head coach.” …

    “Still, they were derailed by injuries and have since released Julius Peppers. However, a full makeover is underway with the additions of Jared Allen and Lamarr Houston. Allen has plenty left in the tank and Houston was often overlooked as a dependable starter in Oakland.” …

    “DTs Ego Ferguson (LSU) and Will Sutton (Arizona State) were picked in the second and third rounds and the linebackers have to stay healthy despite their age (D.J. Williams and Lance Briggs).” …

    “Tim Jennings has coaxed a ton out of his body to become a long-time pro, while [Charles] Peanut Tillman is nearing the end as a starting corner. Hence, the selection of CB Kyle Fuller (Virginia Tech) in the first round.” …

    “The safeties won’t strike fear in anybody, so this entire secondary will need to be overhauled over the next two years.” …

    “In a sentence, the Bears should be spectacular on offense, and if Tucker and Co. can turn things around defensively, this team has a chance to have a special year.” …

    Detroit Lions

    “After the Lions faltered down the stretch of the 2013 season with the division title in sight, the organization fired Jim Schwartz and hired Jim Caldwell. Caldwell has two tasks: to improve the consistency of Matthew Stafford and eliminate the on-field discipline issues that have plagued this team over the past five seasons.” …

    “Stafford and Calvin Johnson have posted bigger numbers than any tandem since 2008, but they still added Golden Tate to the mix as an alternative, different style of receiver than Megatron. Kris Durham is a favorite of Stafford, despite his lack of all-out speed and athleticism.” …

    “Brandon Pettigrew was retained, but that didn’t keep them from taking Eric Ebron with the No. 10 pick. The Lions got great mileage out of undrafted free agent Joseph Fauria who caught 10 touchdown passes as a rookie.” …

    “Reggie Bush was everything advertised as a runner and receiver and the club likes the idea of pairing him off with Joique Bell.” …

    “The offensive line is adequate with Riley Reiff at left tackle, Dominic Raiola in the middle and Larry Warford coming off a very secure rookie campaign.” …
    “Teryl Austin takes over as the defensive coordinator and Detroit certainly has one of the best fronts in the entire league. Ndamukong Suh, Nick Fairley, Ziggy Ansah and Jason Jones all have significant talent and watch for Devin Taylor to reveal himself as a quality young prospect this year.” …

    “The linebackers are undersized with Stephen Tulloch leading the way as a tackler.” …
    “Austin recruited James Ihedigbo from the Ravens, but between he and Glover Quin, not sure they are good enough back there.” …

    “On the corners, Rashean Mathis returns for another year, despite Detroit drafting Darius Slay in the second round a year ago.” …

    “Chris Houston’s toe injury has been problematic during the offseason [Editor’s note: Houston was released by the team in June], so they also drafted Nevin Lawson (Utah State) to add depth on the edge.” …

    “Turnovers and the ability to make critical plays at critical times will determine if Caldwell is a successful hire.” …

    “Caldwell is charged with turning this group of underachievers into division winners, and for that to happen, he will need stellar performances from Stafford and a defense that will be tested at all levels in the NFC North." ...

    Green Bay Packers

    “Somehow without Aaron Rodgers for seven games, the Packers made the playoffs. Give credit to coach Mike McCarthy and GM Ted Thompson who have both quietly put together a solid record of leadership and success.” …

    “Rodgers is at the top of his game and has performed through quite a bit of adversity over the past two seasons. Neither the offensive line nor receivers are what he had earlier in his career, but the running game is better with Eddie Lacy.” …

    “Some Alabama insiders felt Lacy had more talent than Mark Ingram and Trent Richardson, and they were proven right with his 1178 yards as a rookie.” …

    “Jordy Nelson and Randall Cobb are both very good players and they added Davante Adams from Fresno State in the second round.” …

    “David Bakhtiari is just OK as the left tackle, so they need Bryan Bulaga to return from injury in order to bolster their edge protection. J.C. Tretter projects well to center, but actually played LT at Cornell and spent most of 2013 on IR. All-Pro guard Josh Sitton can help him in that transition.” …

    “On defense, Dom Capers seems to have lost some of his 3-4 magic, however, that may be more of a talent issue.” …

    “Mike Daniels has become a dependable pro and they need Datone Jones to make big progress in his second year. B.J. Raji was brought back on a one-year deal, but he has to play better.” …

    “A.J. Hawk has never made the splash plays of a top 5 pick and Brad Jones is only an adequate NFL starter. Clay Matthews is the best player on their D and the Packers signed Julius Peppers to rush from the opposite side, but no one has any idea how Capers will plug him into their system.” …

    “Sammie Shields was deservedly extended in March, but Tramon Williams is on the other side of it, so Casey Hayward or Micah Hyde could push for a starting role this year.”…

    “The safety play was atrocious last season and was their biggest need in the offseason. The Packers selected Alabama’s Ha Ha Clinton-Dix with the 21st pick of the first round and he is an athletic centerfielder.” …

    “As long as Rodgers is healthy, this team will always have a chance to compete, but if Green Bay wants to talk Super Bowl, they must get production from Peppers and play at a much higher level along both lines of scrimmage.” …

    Minnesota Vikings

    “The Vikings are the NFC version of the Bills in that they have put together a solid, playoff-contending roster, but the QB position is the big issue here. GM Rick Spielman has at least a partial miss with Christian Ponder, but that didn’t prevent them from taking Louisville’s Teddy Bridgewater at the end of the first round.” …

    “They hired Mike Zimmer to fix an underachieving defense.” …

    “Offensively, they literally have a blue-chip caliber talent in every position group except QB. Adrian Peterson is still the best RB in the game, Matt Khalil is one of the best young tackles in the league, Kyle Rudolph is a quality TE and Cordarrelle Patterson has incredible upside. With that said, Zimmer hired Norv Turner as his offensive coordinator to either fix Ponder and/or Matt Cassel and develop Bridgewater.” …

    “Jared Allen moved to the Bears after the Vikings opted to retain a younger Everson Griffen and sign DT Linval Joseph from the Giants. Shariff Floyd is a major key to a defensive turnaround, he has to be more consistent and provide an interior pass rush against the QBs in this division.” …

    “The linebackers are good enough when healthy, but Chad Greenway, Matt Mauti and Gerald Hodges have all missed time in the past, therefore, their original first round pick, UCLA’s Anthony Barr, will be expected to play and contribute this year.” …

    “Maybe the weakest part of this roster is the secondary. Chris Cook signed with the 49ers, but Xavier Rhodes and Josh Robinson are the incumbent returners who will compete with Panthers’ signee Captain Munnerlyn.” …

    “The safeties are just ordinary with SS Jamarca Sanford and FS Hunter Smith patrolling the deep part of the field…

    “If this organization can figure out the QB and Zimmer can fix the D, the Vikings may in fact have a positive future after all.” …
  20. jackiejokeman

    jackiejokeman Pro-Bowler

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    Of the two biggest changes the Lions made this year, the more important is almost certainly Jim Caldwell replacing Jim Schwartz. Caldwell brings with him a reputation as a quarterback guru, and Detroit is collectively hoping his staff can turn around one of the most undisciplined and - let's face it - hilarious teams in recent football memory. It's not just that the Lions collapsed last year. It's not just that they perennially fail to live up to the hype created by their big name stars. It's that no one seems to fail quite like the Detroit Lions. From fumbled snaps to frequent unnecessary roughness penalties to baffling interceptions and incredibly ill-timed fumbles in the snow, the Lions under Schwartz more often than not went out of their way to lose.

    Defense

    It's easy to blame this kind of thing on the head coach and I understand the hope that things will improve in a new regime. Coaching changes do matter and discipline can matter. Few doubt that working under Tom Coughlin is different than working under Lovie Smith. The problem as I see it for the Lions is that I believe some of their players are simply bad people. Compounding the problem, they are frequently difficult-to-bench bad people. Ndamukong Suh and Nick Fairley help to make up one of the stoutest defensive lines in football. They are also people who have shown a tendency to fly off the handle and stomp on opponents. You can attempt to impose discipline on them, but that often means taking them off the field, which makes the Lions much worse in terms of the talent on said field. It's a bit of a catch-22.

    Discipline aside, the Lions boast what was by far the best defense in the division a year ago - they were the only unit in the NFC North that finished better than 25th in Football Outsiders' DVOA (they were 14th). They were not without their weaknesses (see this post from last season), but they were extremely stout against the run and fair against the pass most of the time. If Rashean Mathis is still a prominent member of the secondary they may struggle in that area, but there is some young talent that may develop (Darius Slay) and their front seven is capable of covering for a lot.

    Furthermore, they were one of the few teams in the North that could routinely generate some kind of pass rush without blitzing. When you consider that the three contenders in the 2013 NFC North all possessed good-to-great offenses (when healthy) and that, of the three only the Lions possessed any semblance of a defense, it is downright shocking that they collapsed. It's in their nature, as previously mentioned, but there's more to this story. Let's move on to what I like to call:

    Offense: The Megatron Effect

    Calvin Johnson doesn't get enough credit. That may sound insane as even the national media calls him "Megatron" and he is widely regarded as the games greatest receiver, yet it's entirely true. In football the hardest part about working with statistics is deciding who gets credit for what. There are so many moving parts that assigning blame and credit always requires some guesswork, and we tend to default to the idea that on offense the quarterback deserves most of the blame and most of the credit. Generally speaking this is a good idea. The problem is that every so often you run into a situation like the Detroit Lions.

    In his last 3 seasons Matthew Stafford has started all 16 games and averaged 403 completions, 680 attempts (59.2%), 4808 yards, 24 TDs and 18 picks a year. In 2010 Stafford missed most of the season. The Lions saw Shaun Hill and Drew Stanton start 13 games in his absence. If you combine their numbers and project them out to a full 16 game season, Shrew Stanhill had 401 completions in 658 attempts (61%), 4266 yards, 24 TDs and 18 picks. Consider also that Shrew, the definition of a replacement level quarterback, was playing with a still developing (but very good) Johnson while Stafford has had peak-Megatron. While these numbers superficially look pretty good, you can make a strong case that given the level of support in Detroit that Stafford has been barely (if at all) above replacement level. That's the effect that Calvin Johnson can have on a team.

    I would usually resort to throwing some advanced stats here about Stafford's true performance, and while both Pro Football Focus and Football Outsiders don't see Stafford as one of the best in the business, they do generally see him as top ten. Personally, I think they hugely overrate Stafford. It is difficult to prove because of all the reasons previously listed, but when you consider that in addition to Megatron he also has a better supporting cast than old Shrew, the shine starts to come off of the video game numbers that Stafford has managed to put up over the last 3 years. There are certain quarterbacks who are able to function with just about any competent supporting cast, and there's a subset that can only be successful with the right tools. The Matt Ryans and Andy Daltons of the world live in this tier along with Stafford.

    In many ways Stafford is emblematic of the terrible luck, bad timing, and incompetence of the recent Lions.* Stafford in 2009 and Suh in 2010 were both picked and signed under the old CBA, which allowed for highly paid rookies and often worked as a trap for bad teams trying to rebuild. They combined to receive over $80 million in guaranteed money on their rookie deals. Compounding this problem was the fact that while both are useful players, neither are really stars, at least in my opinion. In the case of Stafford this problem was made even worse by the Calvin Johnson effect, and this is what I mean when I say he doesn't get enough credit.

    * By recent I mean "for their entire existence."

    Receivers, even great ones, do not make nearly as much as quarterbacks, and mistaking receiver production for quarterback production can be expensive. Every dollar of value you mistakenly assign to a quarterback instead of a receiver is multiplied when it comes time to negotiate a contract. Before the 2013 season, the Lions extended Stafford for another $41.5 million of guaranteed money. If you subscribe to the theory that Stafford is probably mediocre at best, it is a heck of a lot of money to tie up in him, even if it's not necessarily as ridiculous as the Flacco or Romo deals. Moreover, it is a symptom of a team failing to recognize quarterback as a problem area in the first place.

    To summarize, Stafford is an inefficient volume passer. He routinely puts up great fantasy numbers because he frequently leads the league in attempts, but he rarely exceeds a 60% completion percentage and almost always throws more than one interception per game. He also usually fumbles five or six times a season, and had a disastrous 12 last year.

    Many pundits believe that Detroit will improve because they've finally found a complement for Calvin Johnson in Golden Tate, but this drastically underrates the supporting cast he had a year ago. Both Joique Bell and Reggie Bush are very good receivers out of the backfield and they have thrown on the field some tight ends who are at least competent receivers. Subjectively speaking, I'm also not sure that Johnson needs the help that much. It's certainly not bad to have a better second receiver, but it may also take some valuable targets away from Johnson.

    In short, Johnson's biggest enemy isn't coverage - it's Stafford. Megatron is so great at making circus catches, at going up and getting balls, that it lets his quarterback off the hook. Stafford rarely puts the ball in an ideal spot, often robbing Johnson of forward momentum and putting him in harm's way. Golden Tate is unlikely to fix this problem, and is himself very likely to suffer at Stafford's hand.

    Is Golden Tate an improvement over the Lions' other number two wideouts in recent years? Yes, he almost certainly is. Does he fix a fundamental problem? No, I believe he does not. The fundamental problem with the Lions is that they think they have a star at the most important position in the game when, what they actually have, is the equivalent of Sam Bradford with much better weapons. Stafford is a basically a parasite on their offense. If Calvin Johnson starts to decline or gets hurt, the Lions will quickly find themselves with a bottom-ten quarterback. Last year Johnson missed two games, both against bad defenses. The first was a 22-9 loss to the Packers in which Stafford threw for 262 yards and 1 TD with no interceptions. Stafford's TD came in garbage time with the Packers merely trying to kill the clock. The other game Johnson missed was against the Vikings in the last game of the season, a 14-13 loss in which Stafford threw for 217 yards, 1 TD and no picks. By most metrics (and the eye test) the Packers and Vikings had atrocious defenses.

    It's certainly possible that the Lions improve. There is some room for the defense to get better, they may be able to shape up the locker room, and Golden Tate is a quality player, but given the potential improvement across the division and the fact that they employ the Antoine Walker of the NFL at quarterback I'm still immensely skeptical of the Lions, and probably will continue to be so until Stafford is gone. If they finish below the Vikings it won't surprise me a bit.

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