What are you football rituals?

Discussion in 'Chicago Bears' started by Henry Burris, Sep 11, 2013.

  1. Moth

    Moth Rookie

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    I like to wake up at the crack of 10:40, about 20 minutes before kickoff where I go downstairs and eat Wednesday's leftover Hamburger Helper. By about 10:53 I realize that I forgot to make my daily Proline ticket so I throw on my unwashed shorts and run out the door towards my nearest convenience store and enter with 90 seconds to spare!
    After cursing out the first 6 provided golf pencils for be void of their lead, I finally scratch out my picks for the day and run up to the till to get my tickets printed, while picking out the newest flavour of Stride gum to rid myself of the taste of the night before, the teller informs me that my tickets are invalid, the first game has already started. Shit! I sulk back to the gambling station and inevitably double my wager on the afternoon games.

    On my way home with my golden "Locked games of the Afternoon" ticket, I happen a liqour store out of the corner of mine eye, "Should I indulge myself?" I ask myself aloud and mostly rhetorically. "Well", I decide,"I'll be winning $1500 this afternoon on my tickets anyways, what's the harm?"
    I greet the kind lady behind the counter as I reach for the 60 pounder of Canadian Whiskey and a 2L of Coke, checking my fantasy lineup last minute... Baltimore's defense against the Broncos, that should be good.

    I drop myself on the couch with tickets and booze in hand and flip on the Sunday ticket to hunt down the Bears game while reaching for yesterday mornings coffee mug as my drinkin' chalice.

    Fast Forward 2 hours... My Crown Royal is half gone and I'm telling telling Chris Berman what I REALLY think of him, while watching Youtube clips from the 2006 season and softly crying on the inside. "Time to cheer up!" I think to myself, and I log on to Yahoo to check my fantasy team. Up by 15 on the back of Victor Cruz and Demarco Murray. "You sir, are a football genius". The games are reaching the end of the 4th quarter and the Bears are up 6, victory is certain! Until a missed block by LT that will remain nameless (because to utter the word Webb in my household assures a level of rage guaranteed to bring the local authorities to my door. My wife knows that it shall be reffered to as a 'spider snowflake' from henceforth the 2012 season god dammit!), I digress. A certain LT misses a block and Cutler gets dropped for the 6th time of the game and fumbles the ball, I know this scenario much too well....

    The ball is marched all of a sudden like Steve Young was reincarnated in this otherwise celler-dwellar of a quarterback against a defense that was stingy all day, but not now, not this drive. Throw after throw followed by completion after completion until the endzone is hit with a mere 12 seconds on the board. Defeat is certain. I wallow away into my 8th drink and check my fantasy team again, for the 100th time, and somewhere between 4:27 and 4:35 Adrian Peterson has somehow achieved what is basically seen as a trillion yards and 4 touchdowns. I lose again... But I still have my big money tickets, I scramble for my wallet and whip out the ticket. after scanning the ticket up and down I have gone 2-6 in the afternoon games and lost everything.

    Sunday
     
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  2. short faced bear

    short faced bear Assistant Head Coach
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    I tell my woman if she doesn't make me a sammich we could lose bad and if I help her in the kitchen at all there are no playoffs. Glad she's a fan b/c by god that works!!
     
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  3. Styx

    Styx Rookie

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    I watch the game in different rooms depending on the game.If were not looking so good i go to the cool basement,If were in a tough game the living room the room names a pun.
     
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  4. Henry Burris

    Henry Burris Head Coach

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    Back when I was at Hood, I had 2 people (unless there was a group of us watching at someone's house) that I ALWAYS made it a point to sit with at the bar during all Bears games. They were a Packers and a Lions fan. It was a bit of a good luck charm, until Lovie Smith decided it wouldn't be a bad idea to let the Packers into the Playoffs in 2010. Unless our teams were going against each other, we'd root each others teams on, but even that infamous debacle (Lovie, seriously, why did you sit Bennett, who was your ONLY WR?) didn't change the drinking arrangements, especially since we were too busy laughing our ***es off at Lovie trying to call plays.

    That leads to another one of my "dont's" of football rituals, unless I'm good friends with them, or they're friends of a friend, I will NOT drink with another Bears fan. They can seriously be more annoying than Steelers or Saints "fans", and that says a LOT. I always find them to be bad luck, and disrespectful. Especially if I'm drinking with "the enemy". Give me a random Packer, Lions and Cowboys fan ANY day over a random Bears, Saints, Steelers or Colts fan.
     
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  5. soulman

    soulman Hall of Famer
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    I like to hear that some prefer the simple pleasures in life but won't the remote turn ON the TV too? Then you could eliminate one step and make it even simpler?
     
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  6. soulman

    soulman Hall of Famer
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    I usually sacrifice a live chicken, then eat a Hershey Bar with Almonds (must have almonds) and take out the trash.

    THEN and only then can I sit down turn on my computer find the live stream of the game and watch. :)

    (Ok, Ok, maybe I stretched the truth about the live chicken. Sometimes it's just a package of thighs from Safeway):p
     
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  7. riczaj01

    riczaj01 DaBears Ditka
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    You have to stand up to turn on your tv? Doesn't Japan have those new fangled TV remote controls to do that from the sitting position?

    My only real ritual is 1 drink per qtr(in really bad games i ditch that one quick). If I'm at home I watch while chatting online w/you farts to make sure I'm not to loud or vulgar around the family.

    If it's not on here I head to Buffalo Wild Wings and again 1 beer a qtr, food 1st qtr and a desert the 4th.
     
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  8. 4dabers

    4dabers Pro-Bowler
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    Now THAT, my friend, is a literary work of art! Well done.
     
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  9. Henry Burris

    Henry Burris Head Coach

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    I think Ric and a few others see my hypocrisy of "keeping cool, it's just game 1". I'm calm after the game, but during the game, I'm screaming at everything haha
     
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  10. riczaj01

    riczaj01 DaBears Ditka
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    I used to be the same way, the chat room at this site helped, and having kids helped tons
     
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